Identity Crisis

I am currently attending an academic conference. Although all those paper presentations and workshops are supposed to help me figure out my career-identity a little more, I suspect the trip has mostly served to make me lose my complete sense of self-identity. I know I may not be the stereotypical Chinese girl – I am not shy. I am not frail. And I am not dainty. But all in all, I look Chinese...uh…at least Asian.

Now here comes the identity buster.

Yesterday during the morning conference break, a student-looking Asian young man walked over and introduced himself to me.

Him: “Hi...I don't think we've met.”
Me: “I don’t think we have. My name is so-and-so. I’m a grad student from University so-and-so.”
Him: “Oh really? I’m S. Y. Lee. I emailed you a few times.”

This is actually interesting because we are on the same inter-university project and teleconference and email all the time.

Him: “Wow...you're not what I had pictured you to look like. I thought you were tall and blonde.”
Me: “Oh....uh....uhhh...nope, sorry.”

Me: “Well, I gotta get back to the next talk. It was really nice meeting you.”

An hour later, when I turned on my laptop to check my emails, I had an email waiting for me in the inbox. It said:

“
Sorry for being rude when I met you during the break. I had the wrong visual image of you as being someone taller and of Scandinavian decent. Apologies again if I offended you.

Regards,
S.Y. Lee
”
Taller? I'm 5'5"! How tall does he need me to be? So...taller, blonde, Scandinavian. His visual image of me was something like this??

Yikes, sorry to pop your fantasy, young man. Don't think anyone looking like *that” would be working day and night like a chump in our field.

So, yeah, I’m currently suffering from body image problems like most American women…