Recently I have been reading Nicholas Sparks’ novel “The Notebook”. He said that “the first time you fall in love, it changes your life forever, and no matter how hard you try, the feeling never goes away… And no matter what you do, she/he will stay with you forever.” This is so true.

Last week, I did a silly thing: I entered my first love’s name in Google. I was crazy for him when I was half of my current age. I have lost contact with him for years although he still comes to my dreams from time to time. I thought I would never get hold of him again. However, I underestimate the power of Google. His name is very unique and his in????ation came out in no time. Even a phone number was listed next to his name. It looks like that at present he is a VP and board member of a big tech company. I am not surprised that he has a successful career.

I was compelled to dial his number. His secretary picked up the phone. Soon after, he was on the other end of the phone line. He was not quite surprised when he recognized my voice. He sounded so calm and so indifferent. I didn’t know what to say. I hung up after a brief greeting. I knew I should have not made this call. He might not want to keep contact with me at all. He will always be special in my heart, although I have never been that special to him. I am not ashamed of my love.

Ironically, today I received an email from an ex-boyfriend of mine. He attached a few pictures of his daughter and himself. Although we have kept in contact occasionally, this was the first time I saw his image in more than ten years. He has put up a lot of weight. But I recognized him right away. His shining eyes and warm smile are still the same. I was his first love, but he was not mine. He once loved me with all his heart and soul. I deeply appreciate his love, although I couldn’t love him back in the same way. I know he hasn’t forgotten me. I will never laugh at his love.

Let’s just face the fact -- the first true love never dies.