SAT考試

Susan著 小哭譯

脖子疼、背疼、腳麻。我已經在同一個地方坐了幾個小時了，被困在一個又硬又不舒服、叫做“椅子”的奇妙發明里。倒不是什麼人把我綁在椅子上了，噢，不是。原因比那更糟，是被一個設計出來專門用以折磨象我這樣的青少年的某種特別的東西……SAT考試。

好了，我可能有點誇大其詞了。其實沒那麼糟糕，只是很乏味。四個小時的考試，竟然只有三次五分鐘的休息？如果你問我的話，我會說這是讓人感到乏味的最好的辦法。也許只是因為我不習慣於考長試，你看我只是個八年級生而已。八年級並不是非要參加SAT考試。這個考試是針對那些準備上大學的高中畢業生們的。上周六我因為所謂的“人才選拔”之由參加了考試，這考試可是名符其實的啊。我和一些學生參加考試後，會有一些專職人員通過我們的成績選拔出來一些“聰明人”（又名：有天資的人）。然後這些聰明人會獲得獎學金或者什麼類似的東西吧。六年級（或者七年級？）時，我的老師推薦過我去參加這個考試，但是媽媽覺得報名費太貴，不划算。這次又有老師推薦我去，不知道什麼原因，我的父母這回認為值得考一次。

我沒有為SAT做任何準備。直到考試的這一周，我才知道在哪考試，考多長時間，考什麼等等。我一點也不擔憂。這並不像是我應該考多少分以便能去哪所大學那類考試，這只是酷酷地去嘗試一件事兒而已。當知道考試在哪裡進行時，我相當地驚訝（媽媽可能告訴過我但是我早就忘記了）。考試將在CHMS進行，一個我們隔壁小鎮的中學。在過去的兩個上學日，我們學校由於水管爆掉而關閉了，我就是去那個中學上的學。去那裡很方便，因為那不是一個完全陌生的地方。

他們建議學生們於早晨7：45分到達CHMS，我正是那麼做的。當我到那兒時，已經有人先到了。正門後面有着非常開闊的空間，但大家都在入口大廳那兒擠着。人數比我想像的要少，頂多一百人吧。我們來自於不同的學校，我只認識幾個人。

十分鐘後（我們在等待更多的人到達），老師來了，讓我們分散到各自的考場。牆上有告示告訴我們根據姓氏要去哪間教室（按字母順序）。我和朋友分開後，緊張地走向我所在的教室。很快地，其它姓“B”或“C”開頭的人也到了，我們一起在教室外面等着。我很失望於一個人也不認識。這樣很尷尬，因為很明顯他們之間相互也不認識。我說了句像是“嘿，你們好啊！既然我們要在這個教室一起呆四個小時，我們最好相互認識一下吧”的什麼話。可是只有幾個人嘀咕了下“我很好”和“我還不錯”什麼的，除那之外，我們並沒有真的在接下來的幾個小時裡互相說點什麼。

進了教室後，課桌上貼着指示我們坐在哪裡的告示。我們坐進課桌後等了很長時間，長得足夠我在告示紙上畫完一個漂亮的動漫。教室很小也很溫暖，讓我覺得自己好像不是真的在參加SAT考試，而是在平常的教室里進行一個常規的小測驗而已。又進來了一、兩個人後，老師終於不管其它座位還在空着了，宣布開始考試。

接下來的半個小時用來填那些常規的信息：名字、生日、住址、考號、註冊號等等，這些太無聊了。然後我們又讀了枯燥的考試規則：不能在教室里吃喝，但走廊上可以（我們的老師很好，允許我們在教室里喝水）；不能作弊；只能使用2號鉛筆；這個那個這個那個。有一件事情讓我感到震驚：答錯一題扣1/4分（不答沒事兒，不得分也不扣分）。我頭一次遇到這樣的事兒，這讓我在猜答案的時候倍加小心。

足足在我進教室一個小時後才算開始了第一部分的考試內容——寫一篇作文，二十五分鐘之內寫完。死定了。我討厭這種類型的自由作文，因為我總是不知道怎麼對付這種問題。我要選邊站，但是我不同意任何一邊！我看到了其中的錯誤，我能想到的唯一好答案是一個折中。但是我不可以折中。最後我決定選一邊去辯論，但是在我將作文規劃到一半時我又改變了想法，因為我意識到自己更支持另外一邊。我太蠢了，浪費了這麼多的時間。當我最後終於動筆寫的時候，簡直是以閃電般的速度書寫，但還是不夠快。最後五分鐘的時候，我只寫到了一半；最後一分鐘的時候，除了結論外我都寫完了。到點了！我還剩下一句話。一個句子！別把這事告訴給別人，但是因為只是幾個字兒，我在老師沒看見的時候寫了下來。不幸的是，我弄錯了一個語法，我在應該使用複數的地方用了單數。我對自己如此地失望與生氣，但是已經沒有機會修改了。我只需要十秒鐘！我在作文開始的時候用來喝水而浪費掉的時間都比這個多！氣死人了！

接下來要做的是閱讀和語法。為防作弊每個人試題的順序都各不相同，所以我不知道別人的情況如何。這部分進展順利，我感覺平靜如常。在一個正規的教室里考SAT會少去很多壓力。如果要是像高中的摸底考試一樣，幾百人在一個巨大的體育館裡一起考試的話，我的感覺會糟很多。我們休息了五分鐘，大家都到走廊上吃零食，然後接着再考。我始終覺得很不錯。然後我們又休息了五分鐘，再接着考。這下我開始覺得厭煩了。

我一直很害怕這種感覺。在摸底考試最後的階段，我曾有過這種厭煩的感覺，簡直煩到想死。現在又有了相似的感覺。我不能伸展不能動，因為那是休息時的專利。我所能做的就是交叉、再交叉我的雙腿。我繼續答着題，把時間幾乎都花在了幾個問題上。有幾個問題我不知道答案，因為我知道自己肯定會做錯。我的腦子裡不斷地迴響着朵拉（譯者註：小寶的動畫片）的主題曲。我盡力去集中精力。當最後的一個間歇來臨時，我總算得以解放。

但這個中間休息並沒有起到多大作用。坐在教室的椅子中，與我們坐在走廊的地板上，並沒有多大的區別。除了聽到一個女孩問另一個是幾年級的，我們這些考生之間並沒有說話。問話的是七年級的，另一個則是六年級的。我沒有從那種煩得要將自己殺死的感覺中解脫出來。我需要到處跳跳，隨便聊聊，做點什麼釋放掉我那積聚起來的能量！但是我不能，因為那樣會很古怪。太折磨人了。所謂的“休息”根本沒有起到休息的作用。

考試的最後一部分終於到來了，也是最長的一部分。一小時十五分鐘。如煉獄中的一小時十五分鐘，太可怕了。最後十分鐘的時候，我甚至都不再為幾乎要完成SAT考試而激動了。我是如此地累，腦子都麻木了。關於我將會累成什麼樣，爸爸說得很對。但是他也有錯的地方，那就是他將那種體力上的累當成最糟糕的事情了。雖然我的脖子疼、背疼，但是厭煩感讓我更受折磨。當我最後完成了SAT考試，給父母打電話讓他們來接我時，我都不敢相信我是真的考完了。

離開那棟教學樓，我的大腦馬上就獲得了重生。突然間，所有這些集聚起來能量都涌了出來，於是我在嚴寒中跳上跳下。真是太好了，我覺得真不錯，終於考完了SAT——雖然我知道自己的分數會相當地糟糕。但是我考完了，對嗎？現在SAT這事不再有什麼嚇人的了！我為自己最後總算是走完了這一過程感到自豪。現在我迫不急待地想看看我的分數到底會有多麼地糟了。

【小哭介紹背景】這個考試讓Susan感覺到身心上受到這麼大的折磨，真的是令我很意外！是題太難了無法“享受”這個考試，還是時間確實太長了體力上無法適應？不知道那些高中生考下來的感覺如何。大概是Susan平時考試太少了吧？

住在橡樹園時，就收到過數學老師發來的郵件，推薦參加這個考試。當時郵件中就介紹了初中生參加這個考試，是個別現象，並且是自願性質的。一看那麼多的報名費（總共好像88美元），而且也看不到考試有什麼意義，我們就放棄了。去年再次收到老師的群發郵件，說是在快班的孩子們都會收到這個考試推薦。一想Susan他們快班的孩子數量非常地大，她身邊的孩子可以說個個都會收到邀請，並且很多都會報名，那就還是給她報了吧。另一個，她平時在作業上花的時間明顯地超過了合理的時間，因此得到的高分含金量不高，可是這一點她無論如何也不能理解。那就還是讓她去參加考試，從自己的經歷中去體會她的數學並非是她以為的那麼好吧；讓她體會一下什麼是“人外有人，天外有天”吧。如果報名費能夠換得她對自己有個正確的評價，以後能夠在作業上減少時間，或說為了保持好成績提高效率，那應該還是值得的。就是為着這麼個目的，給她報名了。她本身應該沒有什麼感覺，或許會有點獲得推薦的小小自豪？

她沒有為SAT做任何準備，我們也沒有。在我們眼裡，學習是一個漫長的過程，每一次考試都是之前過程的一個檢驗，所以不存在着什麼複習備考，一切任其自然挺好。也許，當她高三的時候，我們對分數會有另外的看法？現在不得而知。考完我們也沒有做任何調研，這事就過去了。大概一個月後，成績就到了，其實就是前幾天。我一看她的閱讀在同年級中排名挺靠前，感覺不錯；再看她的數學很一般般，覺得正好可以讓她重新定位她自己的數學學習；再看寫作相當地不好，我想這事可能需要和她認真談談。這就是我從這次考試中得到的信息。比我想要的還多，原來我們只考慮到了數學這一科。

自從Susan上八年級，我就明顯地感覺到了她的閱讀在進步，主要是閱讀的面廣了；寫作也在進步，主要是她的思考能力加強了。但是，她在一些大作業和小測驗中，明顯地感覺到了在寫作上並沒有什麼優勢。主要就是得到的分數並不理想，離媽媽平時的好評相差很遠；還有經常感覺寫起來很吃力，找不到思路不知道寫啥好。為這事兒我曾經在上次家長會時，專門和她一起問過老師，老師說原因就是Susan平時寫的都是自說自話的體裁，現在需要練習在報刊雜誌上發表的那類文章的體裁。老師還給了她一些具體的建議，讓她看書練習。可是她把自己全部的時間都花在了日常作業上面，根本沒有花時間認真考慮老師的建議。

成績出來後，我猶豫再三，還是給威爾基女士寫了封郵件，請她給Susan解釋一下SAT寫作的指導思想。主要就是給老師介紹Susan面對這種作文要求，在邏輯上存在着一個誤區，無法理解題意，理不出來寫作的線索，我們努力解釋也無法讓她明白。她就是認為如果她自己不能百分百地同意任何一邊，那這個作文就沒法寫。以前我曾試着用中國外交部發言人的角色來解釋她選邊站的處境，我說選邊是你的工作，不是你的價值觀，你只是需要在作文中圓滿地說清你的論點並給出足夠的論據支持就好。可她就是不能理解，還為這樣做導致的她眼裡的邏輯不通氣得又哭又鬧，簡直就差去撓牆了。看她這麼痛苦，我們最後只好作罷。這次成績出來後，我在網上查了一下中文的資料，感覺並非是一定要選邊站呢？似乎也可以給出一個折中的觀點並進行論證呢？Susan爸的看法是，這孩子不會寫議論文，無法理解議論文這種體裁。我覺得非也。她的那種遊說講演稿，其實就是議論文的套路。我認為問題出在她不理解題意，我們的講解並沒有讓她明白解題的思路。如果威爾基女士能讓她明白，這事就解決了；如果不能，大概就只有等到哪天她自己開竅了。當然，有機會幫的時候還是要幫她開竅。（這文章壓在這兒一周沒發，結果威爾基女士就已經跟Susan談過了SAT寫作。Susan說老師講的意思和家長差不多，但就是更明白一些，所以她已經聽懂了。）

這事如果出在前幾年，我自己會非常地糾結，覺得孩子這麼多年在寫作上投入了大把的精力，相關人員評價也非常不錯，為什麼在作文考試與競賽上就不行呢？可是現在我明白這是寫作的兩個方面，互相不能劃等號。現在就是發揮她強項的一面，繼續寫作，讓寫作成為她的興趣和愛好，甚至是生活的一部分；另外再有目的地加強她的弱項一面，主要就是想辦法讓她開竅，理解考試競賽類的作文考查的是什麼，如何按考試的套路走。

前幾天聽見Susan問爸爸一道二元一次方程的解法，她總是想找竅門走捷徑，可並不是哪個方程都有這樣的捷徑的。讓她按照常規的解法去做，她就發脾氣不接受，說是那樣很麻煩。事實上，她這樣下來，可能花了很多時間最後也沒有找到辦法，最後一看時間不夠了作業還沒做出來，她自己就又跟自己生氣了，氣頭上做題還非常容易出錯。Susan爸問我準備什麼時候出手幫幫孩子，我說如果她真的願意接受數學是需要做題訓練速度的，那這個暑假我願意教她。如果一讓她練習她就彆扭發脾氣，只用眼睛學數學，那就算了。強擰的瓜不甜，人的時間不是非得用在哪一個地方才行的，還是讓她去做更感興趣的事兒吧。反正到目前為止，她的興趣愛好也沒有什麼讓我們覺得要去阻撓的。逼迫不是辦法，這麼大的孩子了，做事要靠她自己內心有驅動力才行。只有她真心想提高數學了，才會聽從我們的建議。如果她認為她自己已經做得很棒了，媽媽說的都不對，那就算了吧。

SAT考試，可以告一段落了。我們想要的小小目的，已經完全實現了。現在Susan已經可以平心靜氣地接受她的數學並非是自己以為的那麼好這一評價了。我們希望她能夠通過考試知已知彼，在合理安排時間這一事兒上有所改進和提高。

附上英文原文：

Taking the SAT’s

My neck hurt, my back ached, and my feet felt like they were falling asleep. I had been sitting in the same position for hours, trapped in a hard and uncomfortable contraption called a chair. I wasn’t trapped because someone had tied me to it, oh no. The reason for my pain and suffering was something far worse, something specially designed to torture young souls like mine……the SAT’s.

Okay, I might’ve exaggerated a tiny bit there. It wasn’t that bad. Just really boring. Four hours of testing* with only three 5-minute breaks in between? The perfect recipe for boredom, if you ask me. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not used to taking long tests, seeing that I’m only in 8^th grade. I’m not even supposed to be taking the SAT’s in 8^th grade. It for people graduating from High School into College. I was taking it last Saturday for something called “Talent Search”, which is exactly what the name implies. After a bunch of other students, including myself, take the test, important people would look at our tests and pick out the smartest (aka: the ones with “Talent”). Then they’ll get a scholarship or something like that. My teacher recommended me to take this before in 6^th (or was it 7^th?) grade, but it costed too much and wasn’t worth it. Another teacher recommended me again and this time, for some reason, my parents decided it was worth it after all.

I did not prepare at all for the SAT’s. I had no idea where I would be taking it, how long it would be, and what it would be about until the week of the test. I wasn’t worried. It wasn’t like I was supposed to reach a certain score to get into a certain college. It was just something that would be cool to try. When I found out where it was going to be, I was pretty surprised (my mom probably told me before but I had long forgotten that). It was going to be at CHMS, a middle school in a town right next to where I live. I had actually been going to that school for the past two schooldays since my own middle school was closed due to poisonous mold. Pretty convenient because then it wasn’t a completely foreign place.

They recommended students to get to CHMS at 7:45 AM, and that was what I did. When I got there, a bunch of the students had already arrived. We were all crowded in the entrace hall, a big open space right behind the main doors. There was way less people than I had expected. Maybe a hundred at most. We were all from different schools, and I only spotted a few people I knew.

After about ten minutes (we were waiting for more people to arrive), teachers came and dissmissed us to our testing rooms. There were posters on the walls telling us which rooms we go to based on last name (alphabetical order). I left my friends and walked nervously to my assigned room. Soon, other people with last names beginning with “B” or “C” arrived, and we waited outside the room together. I was dissapointed that I didn’t know any of them. It was awkward, because it was obvious none of them knew eachother either. I said something like: “Hey, how are you guys? Since we’re gonna be stuck together in a room for four hours, we might as well get to know eachother.” There were a few mumbles of “I’m good” and “fine”, but other than that, we didn’t really talk to eachother at all for the next few hours.

When we went inside the room, there were post-its on desks telling us where to sit. We sat there and waited in our desks for a long time. Long enough for me to finish a pretty anime drawing on my post-it note. The room was small and cozy, and it made me feel like I wasn’t really taking the SAT’s, just a normal test in a normal classroom. One or two more arrived, and our teacher finally decided to start the test without waiting for the rest of the empty seats to be filled.

The next half-hour was spent filling out formal information: name, birth date, address, testing number, registration number, etc. It bored my brains out. We then read through the boring test rules: no food and drink in the classroom, only in the halls (our teacher was nice let us drink water in the room), no cheating, only use No.2 pencils, yada yada yada. One thing surprised me: wrong answers were worth -1/4 points (and providing no answer was worth nothing, no negative, no possitive). That was the first time I had encountered something like that, and it made me a lot more careful about guessing on answers.

We finally started the first section of the test more than an hour after I got there. It was an essay. Twenty-five minuetes. I was doomed. I hate these type of open-ended essays, because I always have no idea how to approach the question. I’m required to pick a side, but I can argue with both sides! I see the faults in them, and the only good answer I can think of is a compromise. But I’m not allowed to make compromises. I finally decided on a side to argue for, but then I changed my mind halfway through outlining the essay because I realized I supported the other side more. I was so stupid, wasting so much time. When I finally started writing, I wrote with lightning speed. But I still wasn’t fast enough. 5 minutes left: halfway through the essay. 1 minute left: everything’s done except for a conclusion. Time’s up! I still had one sentence left. One sentence! Don’t tell anyone this, but since it was just a few words, I wrote them in while the teacher wasn’t looking. Unfortunately, I messed up on the grammar, I used singular instead of plural. I was so dissapointed and mad with myself, but there was not changing the sentence after that. I just needed ten more seconds! I wasted more than that at the start of the essay while I was taking a drink of water! Ugh!

The next section for me was reading and grammar. Everyone’s tests were in different orders to prevent cheating, so I can’t say what it was for others. That went by smoothly. I felt calm and normal. Taking the SAT’s in a normal classroom relieved a lot of the stress. If I had taken it in a huge gym with hundreds of people like how I took the Explore test, I would’ve felt a lot worse. We took a 5 minute break during which we all went into the hallway and at our snacks. Then, it was more testing. I still felt pretty good. We took another 5 minute break, and kept on testing. That was when the boredom started.

I had been afraid of that. During the end of the explore test, I had felt so bored that I literally wanted to die. What I felt then was similar. I couldn’t stretch, couldn’t move, because that was only reserved for the 5-minute breaks. All I could do was cross and recross my legs. I continued answering the question, and I almost ran out of time for a few of them. I left no answer for a bunch, because I was pretty sure I would get them wrong. The Dora theme song kept playing and replaying in my head. I tried to focus my mind, and when the last and final break came, I was relieved.

The break didn’t help much. We sat in chairs in the classroom. We sat on the floor in the hallway. Not much of a difference. We didn’t talk to eachother, except I heard one girl ask another what grade she was in. She was in 7^th. The other girl was in 6^th. I felt no relief from the boredom that threatened to kill me. I needed to jump around, to talk aimlessly, to do something to release my pent up energy! But I couldn’t, because that would be really weird. It was torture. The so called “breaks” offered no breaks at all.

Finally came the last section of testing, and the longest section. One hour and fifteen minutes. One hour and fifteen minutes spent in purgatory. It was awful. By the last ten minutes, I wasn’t even excited about almost being done with the SAT’s anymore. My brain felt dead. I was so tired. My dad was right about the how tired I can get. But he was wrong about that being the wost thing. Though my neck hurt and my back ached, the boredom was worse. When I finally finished the SAT’s and called my parents to pick me up, I was almost afraid to believe that I was actually finished.

Once I exited the building, my brain revived again. Suddenly, all that energy needed to be released, and I did it by jumping up and down in the cold. It was wonderful, and I felt a great sense of accomplishment of finishing the SAT’s—even though I’m sure I got a pretty bad score on it. But I still did it, right? Now it doesn’t seem so scary anymore! I’m proud of myself for surviving through that. Now I just can’t wait to get my score back to see just how bad I did.