幾何課堂

Susan著 小哭譯

一天中我最喜歡的時段通常是第六節課。我的第六節課是……數學！說得再確切些，是幾何！幾何（課堂）是我學校生活中最精彩的一門課。在我所有其它的課堂上，總是有些日子讓我因為正在做着的非常枯燥的作業而真是不想去那個教室。迄今為止，那種事兒在幾何課堂上從未發生過。所以，幾何算是一直以來我最喜歡的課程之一！

喜歡幾何課堂的最重要的原因可能是因為我擅長這門課。除了三次例外，其餘所有的測試、小考以及作業中，我幾乎都得到了百分制中的100分甚至更多。上一個小學期，我的期末成績是如此地接近一百分甚至更多，但是最後一次測試我竟然只得了85分！結果把這一切都給毀了。不過我在班級還是拿到了最高的平均分！

我很驚奇於我在幾何上怎麼做得這麼好。在數學上，我一直都有一些天份，但是去年，我沒有努力，那個天份也沒有顯現出來。今年，我並沒有過度地努力（只是比去年努力了一些），但是我拿到了最高分！我想可能是因為和學代數相比，我的腦子更適合學幾何吧。我對幾何理解得更好，我的腦子似乎更易理解幾何。或者也許只是因為今年我在課堂上真的注意聽講了吧。

被當成“聰明的孩子”是令人上癮的。我不是指那種“書呆子式的聰明”，我指的是“酷酷的聰明”（是指我實際上也有社交生活）。我想我真的不應該太為自己驕傲，我應該更謙卑。在公眾場合，我根本不會表現出自大和討人煩，我想多數人喜歡我。然而，在我的腦子裡，我開始有了“我是最棒的”這一想法。當一個人自我膨脹到像這樣一個……一個……我不知道怎麼說好了（我只是在想着什麼東西真的會快速地膨脹起來），那就很難表現出來謙遜了。我的意思是，我應該更謙虛。希望上帝能夠在這一點上幫助我。我喜歡待在聚光燈下，但是我也內疚於自己喜歡這種感覺。然而，我不內疚於讓某個人關注到我，這個關注來自於……

我的暗戀對象。好了，好了，我知道。我說過，我在教會有過一個暗戀對象，現在，我又說暗戀學校的一個男生了是嗎？真的嗎？但是沒關係，別怪我！我也不怪我自己。我怪那些該死的荷爾蒙。至少我沒有因為他們的外表而愛上他們。（哦，只是一個邊註：我喜歡他們兩個。同時。那是不是……太怪了？或者可能我只是如朋友般地喜歡這個新出現的同學。我不知道。我不熟悉這些情感。我只是希望他喜歡我）不管怎麼吧，回到我的話題。幾何課堂。因為我目前暗戀的對象/我想成為朋友的人/我希望給他深刻印象的傢伙/不管你想管他叫做什麼吧，他在我的幾何課堂上，這就使這門課更有趣兒了！更好的事情是我們是搭檔，意思是說我們必須得在很多事情上合作。我喜歡和他搭檔，不只是因為我喜歡他，還因為他真的是聰明又努力、有趣又善良。和他一起做事兒很好玩兒，他相當地聰明，所以我用不着不得不去把什麼都跟他解釋一通，我們能真正地一起完成作業。我想我們很相配。他讓幾何課成為快樂的源泉（源泉這詞兒對嗎？）。

家長總是說你不應該因為老師或因為同學去喜歡或不喜歡一門課。你應該因為課程本身而喜歡它。幾何課程和幾何課堂是兩件不同（雖然非常相關）的事兒。一個人為什麼喜歡一門課程會有很多個理由，而一個人為什麼喜歡一個課堂則非常地簡單：老師和同學。不管一個數學呆子如何地熱愛數學，如果他的老師和同學們都很愚蠢的話，他還是會討厭他的數學課堂的。這是很多家長需要理解的事情。一門課程和一個課堂不是同一回事兒。

好吧，我喜歡幾何課堂的一個重要原因是因為我的老師。我的幾何老師很棒。他是一個相當有趣兒的人，但是我可以告訴你他業務也很精通。不象很多我遇到過的數學老師，要麼很愚蠢，要麼覺得我很愚蠢或那樣地對待我；而這個數學老師很聰明，他對我的方式也是我很聰明的方式。在他的課堂上我能夠學到相當多的知識。他組織安排家庭作業和課堂作業的方法前後一致，我很容易地就能理解到我應該去做什麼。我說過他是一個有趣的老師沒有？不像很多無趣的老師，伯特尼提先生的課堂通常都很有趣兒，還有一點點競爭氣氛，比如他會在牆上張貼每次考試前五名的分數。但是我想他正在停止做這件事兒……我不知道為什麼。你可能感覺到了，我喜歡競爭。但那可能是因為通常我都是贏家。

回到課程上。總體來說我很善長几何和數學。我暗戀的對象在我的幾何課堂上，就坐在我旁邊。幾何課上我有一個聰明的搭檔。我的幾何老師相當地聰明有趣兒。上這門課的人們喜歡我（我希望）。所有的這些加在一起就是一節快樂無憂的課。對我來講幾何總是很有趣兒。我從來不用象在ELA或不得不做枯燥作業的那些課堂上那樣，擔憂於規劃好我的時間。家庭作業簡單容易。我不用太努力就可以在這門課上做得相當好。還有，最後特別地：這是幾何！我愛幾何！所有那些美妙的理由讓幾何成了一門令我滿意的課。

結束本文之前我必須得說的最後一個重要的事情是：我必須注意不要把我的人生建立在幾何課堂上面。我已經注意到了，一旦我真的擅長或真的在乎某件事情後，我就會放棄其它的事情，把我的整個生活都集中在那件事情上。我必須要真的小心別把幾何弄成那樣。我上周85分的考試就是對我的一個警告。開始我真的是很傷心，然後，我退回一步，看看我為什麼那麼傷心。慢慢地我意識到，我讓幾何成了我生活中一件相當相當大的事情。我提醒自己我有很多其它的事情可以從中得到快樂，其中最好的事情是上帝愛我並已經為我做好了安排。我不必在數學這種簡單的事情上尋求安慰；我不必通過學習幾何來釋放我的壓力；我應該尋求上帝，把我的問題拿到他的面前。

教會中曾有人提醒過我這一點，要我把基礎建立在上帝之上，而不是其它的事情上面。我早就知道這一點，但是當這事在我身上發生時我並沒有意識到。我生活的重心變了，一次一點地，變到了學校上面，然後變到了我擅長的科目上，然後變到了幾何上面。這事在我身上是慢慢地出現地。將我的基礎建立這類事情上就跟建在一疊紙牌塔上一樣。這樣做很簡單，這樣做很容易，並且還會很快地升高，但是一個錯誤就能將整件事情摧毀。我那85分的考試就象是一個小小的顫動，有點像上帝提醒我的方法，讓我將我的房子挪開，否則，遲早，會有什麼事兒讓我在幾何課堂上大大地失望，整個的塔將倒掉，我也跟着倒下來。現在，我正在往回退一步，努力去擴展我的視野，以便我不會只是看着幾何課堂、或是學校或是我人生的這一個階段。我想看到整個人生，不僅如此，我還想看到上帝。那將讓我能夠有遠見，那將幫助我將我的根基從一個紙牌塔上挪開。

【小哭介紹背景】這小文我初看時只是記得Susan提到了她暗戀的對象，覺得她還真的挺信任我的，也挺自信的，不會為探討一些情竇初開的情感而有羞愧感或難為情。她其實是一個很感性的人，但她的腦子中一點也不缺乏理性分析的能力。她會將這些情感歸為激素搞的：）現在我終於明白她為什麼能夠理解三角戀了哈：）

翻譯的過程中，覺得挺順手的。但是小文的最後一段，還是挺震憾我心的（這大概都算是Susan風格了）。我竟然對這段基本上沒有印象！事實上，這應該是我最有印象的一部分啊！我曾經提過，我願意翻譯Susan的文字，和她有信仰是非常有關係的！我願意看到信仰是如何在她的生活中一點一滴地起到作用的。她在最後一段的感悟，如果換成家長的說教，效果可想而知！橡樹園的教會確實教了她很多的人生知識。現在我們在有意地帶領她撤離那個教會，主要原因就是距離帶來的困難。可是，新的教會中她還沒有能夠得到這些收穫，也挺令人心焦的。雖說信仰是人和上帝之間的關係，可是，上帝的教導必竟還是要通過周圍的人和事才能起到作用，而不同的人、做着不同的事兒，帶來的影響當然就不同。要不怎麼有孟母三遷呢？糾結中，等待中，求上帝將Susan帶到我們社區的教會中來吧，讓她在新的環境中也能夠如在橡樹園的教會中一樣地成長吧！最後一段她提到的幾個詞，我想說一下自己的理解，她將個人的成長比喻為蓋房子，信仰當成基礎，如果信仰是上帝基礎就牢固；信仰是一些虛榮的東西則就不牢固，就會跟一疊紙牌塔似的，越高越禁不起小小的震動。

估計Susan對數學的喜愛，出乎了木桐老師的意料了。Susan四歲時我就發現了她在邏輯思維方面有天份，可是我一直消極地對待她對數學的渴望。我不希望她早早地因為這一天份而出現偏科的現象。不偏很難啊，如果孩子在哪個科目上不怎麼努力也會有好成績的話，就很難喜歡去學那些需要努力才能有好成績甚至成績還不一定多麼好的科目啊。失去一個“數學家”，收穫一個“作家”，也不錯。當然，看到她數學拿B的時候，我多少也曾有過難過；當她說已經不喜歡數學了時，我也想過這是不是走到了另一個極端了？我想到了一個朋友曾說的，我早晚會為沒有挖掘Susan的數學潛力而後悔。但如果Susan真的熱愛數學到了某種程度，我堅信那也不是我所能左右得了的。如今，她又喜歡學數學了，管她是什麼原因呢，喜歡學就好，否則我多少都會有糾結的。

附上英文原文：

Geometry Class

My favorite time of the day is usually 6^th period. My 6^th period class is….. math! More specifically, geometry! Geometry (the class) is one of the highlights of my schooldays. In all my other classes, there are those days when we’re doing such a boring project that I really do not want to go to that class. So far, that hasn’t happened with my geometry class. So, that makes geometry one of my favorite classes ever!

My most important reason for liking geomerty class is probably because I’m good at the subject. I’ve gotten a 100% or more on most of my tests and quizes and homework, with the exception of three. Last quarter, I was so close to getting a 100% or more as my final grade, something only one person has ever done. However, sadly, I ended up getting an 98% (I had 103%, but one test ruined it all when I got 85% on it). But I still got the highest grade in the class!

I’m surprised at how well I’m doing in geometry. I’ve always been sort of talented in math, but last year, I didn’t try very hard, and that talent didn’t come through. This year, I didn’t try excessively hard either (just a bit harder than last year), but I got top grades! I think it might have something to do with the fact that my mind is more geometrical than algebraical. I understand geometry better, it just makes more sense in my brain. Or maybe it’s just that I actually paid attention in class this year.

There’s something about being known as the “smart kid” that’s addictive. I don’t mean boring-smart, I mean cool-smart (meaning that I actually have a social life). I suppose I really shouldn’t get too proud of myself. I need to have more humility. In public, I don’t at all act arrogant and annoying, and I think most people like me. However, in my head, I’m starting to get a “I’m the best” mindset. And it’s going to be hard to act humble when my ego’s inflating like a… like a….I don’t know. Just think of something that inflates really fast. My point is, I need to have more humility. I’m hoping God can help me with with that. I enjoy being under the spotlight, but I also feel guilty about enjoying it. One person’s attention I don’t feel guilty about having, though, is the attention of…..

My crush. Okay, okay, I know. I said I had a crush on this guy at church, and now I’m crushing on a guy at school? Really? But hey, don’t blame it on me! I don’t blame myself either. I blame those damned hormones. At least I’m not just falling for them because of their looks. (Oh, and, just a side note: I like both of them. At the same time. Is that… really weird? Or maybe I just like this new guy as I friend. I don’t know. I’m not familiar with these emotions. I just want him to like me.) Anyway, back to my topic. Geometry class. Because my current crush/person I wanna be friends with/this guy I want to impress/whatever you want to call him is in my geometry class, it makes that class much more fun! And what’s better is that we’re partners, meaning we have to work together on a lot of stuff. I enjoy partnering with him, not just because I like him, but also because he’s really smart and hardworking and funny and nice. It’s fun working with him, and he’s pretty intelligent, so I don’t have to explain everything to him and we can actually get work done. I think we make a good pair. He makes geometry class a lot funner (is that a word?).

Parents always say that you shouldn’t like or dislike a class because of the teachers or because of the classmates. You should like it because of the subject. I dissagree. Geometry and geometry class are two separate (though very related) things. There are many reasons why a person would like a subject. Why a person would like a class, though, is very simple: the teachers and the students. No matter how much a math nerd loves math, that nerd is going to hate math class if he has a stupid teacher and idiots for classmates. That’s something many parents need to understand. A subject and a class are not the same thing.

Well, a big reason why I like geometry class is because of my teacher.. My geometry teacher is great. He’s a really fun guy, but I can tell he knows his stuff. Unlike many math teachers that I’ve had who were either stupid or thought I was stupid and treated me that way, this math teachers is smart, and treat me like I’m smart. I can learn a fair amount of knowledge in his class. The way he organizes the homework and classwork is very consistent, making it easy for me to understand what I’m suppose to do. And did I mention he’s a fun teacher? Unlike many boring lecturers, Mr. B’s classes are usually fun and a tad bit competitive. Like how after every test he posts the class’ top five scores on the wall. But I think he’s stopped doing that… I wonder why. As you can probably tell, I like competitiveness. But that’s probably because I usually win.

Back to the subject. I’m good at geometry and math in general. My crush is in my geometry class and sitting next to me. I have a smart partner in geometry. My geometry teacher is really smart and fun. The people in the class like me (I hope). All that adds up to a happy and worry-free class period. Geometry is always fun for me. I’m never worried about schedueling my time like in ELA or having to do boring projects. The homework is straightforward and simple. I do really well in that class without trying too hard. And, last but not least: it’s geometry! And I love geometry! All those wonderful reasons make geometry a great class for me.

One last important things I have to say before I go: I have to be careful not to build my life on geometry class. I’ve noticed that once I get really good at or really obsessed over something, I start to drop everything else and balance my whole life on that one thing. I have to be real careful not to do that with geometry. My 85% test last week was like a wake-up call for me. I was really sad at first, but then, I took a step back, and looked at why I was so sad. I realized that gradually, I have let geometry become a really, really big thing in my life. I reminded myself that I had a lot of other things to be happy about, the best thing being that God loves me and has a plan for me. I shouldn’t have to seek comfort in the simplicity of math. I shouldn’t have to relief my stress through doing geometry. I should seek God, and take my problems to him.

People have reminded me about this in church, about building my foundation on God, and not on other stuff. I knew that already, but I still did not expect it when it happened to me. My focus in life shifted, just a bit at a time, to school, then to subjects I’m good at, then to geometry. It snuck up on me. Building my foundation on that is like building it on a tower of cards. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it rises quickly, but one mistake can bring the whole thing crashing down. My 85% test was like an little tremor, kind of like God’s way of reminding me to move my house, or else, sooner or later, something will dissapoint me so greatly in geometry class that the whole tower would fall and I with it. Now, I’m taking a step back, and trying to enlarge my views so that I wouldn’t be just looking at geometry class, or at school, or at this time in my life. I want to be looking at my whole life, and not just that, but also at the Lord. That would put things into perspective for me, and would help me move my foundation away from that tower of cards.