青柳診所手記49

冬天來了，瑟瑟的寒風吹過來，光禿禿的樹木似乎都在顫抖。阿里醫生早早地就把所有的玫瑰都裹上了一層塑料衣裳，讓嬌弱的它們不被凍着。最近幾乎每天都是雨，天又黑又冷，盛開的花朵和擠得密密麻麻的金色果子似乎都已成了遙遠的過去。

 但無論外面有多麼冷有多麼黑，診所里柔和的燈光卻一直在亮着。我們跟往年一樣，聖誕和新年依舊上班。

 去年聖誕前夜，一個少年提着一把小提琴進來，他拉的動人的曲子曾讓我們欣喜落淚。今年沒有小提琴手，但也有幾個人的真情讓我們難以忘懷。

 其中一個是C，他一年到頭勞作着，這一天總算被他太太押來讓我們好好治一下他酸痛無比的身體。治療完了，C付完了錢，他還從皮包里左搜右翻，把裡面的現金，十元的二十元的，一股腦兒都掏了出來，說：“這是給你們的一點聖誕禮物。”

我瞪圓了眼睛，趕緊說：“啊，不要，不要，謝謝你的好意。可是，我們向來就是不收禮物的。”

他不解地看着我：“為什麼？”

他還想堅持，一旁的大師兄什麼也沒說，他把那些鈔票一張一張疊起來，把每個皺褶的地方都細心地撫平開來，把它們弄得整整齊齊平平展展，然後小心翼翼地把它們放進C的錢包里，最後笑一笑，拍拍他的手臂，就把他送出門了。

 最近我們治療的，除了肌肉筋骨之類的毛病，也有不少內科病人，尤其是呼吸系統病症的人。有幾個人，在急診室等了十多個小時，最後等得不耐煩，就跑到我們診所來了。我們通過針灸，推拿和中藥，也還真幫了不少人。大師兄開玩笑說，也許很快，我就可以像中國的那些傳統老中醫一樣，只開方不需要再直接給人治療了。

 確實，如果要我選擇，我最喜歡的治療方式還是中藥和氣功。所謂的氣功，就是靜坐和觀想。

這是我幾天前給Y做的氣功治療：

Y的主訴是失眠。她說她已經很久很久沒有好好睡過了。而且好不容易睡着了，也總是醒來，醒來後就難得再入睡了。就算輾轉反側睡着了，睡眠質量也很不好，而且睡覺時她有咬牙的習慣，醒來時不但不覺得輕鬆或精力充沛，反而覺得很累，腮幫子也是硬邦邦的又緊又痛。

 “不說別的，”我一邊在她的印堂紮上一針，一邊告訴她，“單看你的舌頭，我就覺得你壓力太大了。”

“我以前不是這樣的，”她苦笑一下，“是生活改變了我。”

我逐漸把她帶入一個安靜的境界，然後建議：“給我描述一下一個你曾經最快樂的畫面吧？”

 她想了想，“小時候的一個畫面常常呈現在我腦海里，那時我是一個快樂的愛咯咯笑的女孩。我還記得小的時候，我們剛剛從東歐移民過來。我牽着母親的手，跟她走在落滿雪的森林裡。森林裡有好多在松樹上竄來竄去的小松鼠，我驚訝得張大了嘴巴。我一不小心，跌落進了深深的雪堆里，我非但不惱，還大聲地笑着，我一笑，周圍松枝上的雪被我震落了，像雨一樣飄下來。我賴在那裡，淘氣地張開手腳躺在雪毯子上，等着母親扶我起來。母親說：‘我親愛的白雪天使，你受傷了嗎？’我笑着答，‘我沒有受傷，我在聆聽白色大地的呼吸呢’…… 現在回想起來，這一切似乎才是昨天的事，但是我的生命中已經發生了那麼多的改變，母親已經不在人世了，我流過產，離過婚，得過一次癌症，我再也不是那個快樂淘氣的小女孩了……”。眼淚從她的臉上滑下來。

 “如果你學會關上門，你會找到她的。”我肯定地說。

“關門？”她睜開眼，驚訝地看着我。

“對，不是那有形的門，而是我們內心的那張無形的門。我們中醫說，心主神明，當你面向外在世界的門關了，你的神明就跟你同在，你的心就安定下來了。你安定下來了，自然就睡好了。你總是問我要吃什麼才會睡得更好，的確，我們吃的東西對健康很重要，但你要知道，那只是針對有形的身體而言。最重要的還是那張無形的門。除了跟食物，我們人其實一直都在跟周圍的許許多多進行着能量交換，比如你跟你的環境，你跟人的交往，你看的電視節目或者網絡信息，你讀的書，你對事物所起的反應，你的情緒等等。 如果你不學會關上那張無形的門，那就等於你一直在允許各種各樣的能量進入你的身體，一直讓人在你的身體內走來走去製造噪音，這樣的話，你怎麼可能完全放鬆怎能睡得很好呢？”

我看她若有所思的樣子，就接着說，“你有機會讓我的大師兄給你推拿一下吧，他可是一個特別善於放鬆的人，”我輕輕笑起來。

“你為什麼笑？”

“因為我想到了最近發生的一件事，”我說，“大師兄在兩個診所上班，他一年到頭都上班，從來沒有修過假。有一天，他在另一個診所給人推拿時，推着推着居然打起盹來。而且那天一連發生了兩次！結果他被這兩個人投訴了。診所的老闆就質問他：‘你為什麼工作時居然睡着了呢？’你猜他怎麼答？”我依舊笑個不停。

“怎麼答？”

“他很無辜地看着老闆說，‘我今天一共治療了十個病人，只不過兩個人投訴了我，這不是已經很好了嗎？’結果老闆也被他逗笑了，說，‘啊，我真欣賞你的樂觀主義精神啊。”

“你的大師兄真是個樂觀的人。要是我，如果被人投訴，我早就焦慮不安了…..”Y也忍不住笑起來。

“以後你再不能入睡的時候，Y，你就想象這一幕吧，”我說，“你就想象你躺在裹着白雪的大地上，你慈愛的母親微笑着站在你的身邊，你輕鬆愉悅地躺在那裡，聆聽着母親的聲音，聆聽着大地的呼吸聲，一切都是那麼安寧那麼美好……”

 聖誕節那天，Y給我發來一個短信：親愛的安娜醫生，我要告訴你，我這幾天晚上，都按照你的方法，睡得很香甜。謝謝你提醒我關門，如果那個小女孩還沒有完全回來，至少，我已經看到她的影子了…..”

 你說，還有什麼比這更美好的聖誕禮物呢？

Whispering of Willows 49

By Dr. Anna Zhao

Winter has arrived; when the cold wind blows, the bare trees appear to be trembling. Dr. Ali clothed all the roses with a layer of plastic, to protect them from freezing. It has been raining almost every day recently, with the sky gloomy and grey. The blooming flowers and the densely packed golden fruit are now but a distant memory.

 No matter how cold and gloomy the outside becomes, the soft lights in the clinic are shining warmly. We again worked on Christmas Day and will be open for New Year’s Day as in previous years.

 Last Christmas Eve, a teenage boy came in with his violin, and the moving music he played made us cry with joy. No violinist to add to our day this year, but a few people’s sincerity left unforgettable impressions on us.

 One of them is C. He works hard all year round, and today, due to his wife’s urging, he came in to let us tune up his extremely sore body. After his treatment, C paid the bill. He searched in his wallet, taking out all his other cash, all the ten and twenty dollar notes, and said, "This is a little gift for both of you."

My eyes widened and I quickly replied, "Ah, no, C, we appreciate your kindness but we do not accept gifts."

He looked at me, puzzled, "Why not?"

He insisted, and Dr. Daniel, who to this point had not said a word, gingerly folded all the bills one by one, making a neat stack, which he quietly put back into C's wallet. Then with a smile, he gave C a pat on the arm, and saw him out.

 Recently, in addition to physical injuries, we have dealt with quite a few patients with internal medicine issues, many with respiratory issues, such as chronic cough or sore throat. Several patients waited for hours in area hospital emergency rooms, finally getting impatient enough to depart for our clinic. We did what were trained to do; acupuncture, cupping, massage and herbal medicine. Dr. Daniel joked that maybe soon, I could solely prescribe herbal medicine like many traditional Chinese medicine practitioners in China.

 Indeed, if I had to choose, my favorite treatments would still be herbal medicine and Qigong. Qigong means medical meditation and visualization.

This is a Qigong treatment I gave Y a few days ago; she gave me permission to share it in this article:

 Y's main complaint is insomnia. She said she hadn't had a good sleep for a long, long time. And when she finally fell asleep, she always woke up in the middle of the night, and it was difficult to fall asleep again. Even if she fell asleep after tossing and turning, the quality of her sleep was very poor. She had the habit of clenching her teeth when she slept. When she woke up, she not only didn't feel relaxed or refreshed, but felt exhausted and achy, and that her cheeks were hard, tight and painful.

 "Ah," I inserted a needle into her forehead, "Y, just by looking at your tongue, I feel that you are under too much stress."

 "I wasn't like this before," she replied bitterly, "Life has hit me too hard." 

I brought her into a quiet state, and then suggested: "Describe to me a picture of your happiest time."

 She thought for a while, "A picture from my childhood often appears in my mind. At that time, I was a cheerful, giggly girl. I still remember when I was young, we had just immigrated from Eastern Europe. I held my mother's hand and walked with her in the snowy forest. There were many little squirrels running around on the pine trees in the forest, and I opened my mouth in surprise. Focusing on the scene, I accidentally fell into a deep snow pile, but I was not annoyed. I laughed loudly. My laughter shook loose the snow on the surrounding pine branches showering upon me like rain. I stayed there, sprawling on the snow blanket mischievously, waiting for my mother to help me up. My mother said, ‘Oh, Honey, my snow-white angel, are you hurt?’ I smiled and replied, ‘I'm not hurt, I'm just listening to the breathing of the white earth’... Looking back now, all this seems to have taken place just yesterday, yet, since then, so many changes have happened in my life. My mother is no longer alive, I had a miscarriage, got divorced, and had cancer once. I am no longer that happy and naughty little girl..." Tears slid down her face.

 "If you learn to close your door, you will find her." I said affirmatively.

"Close the door?" She opened her eyes and looked at me in surprise.

"Yes, it's not a tangible door, but the door separating your inner and outer worlds. Our Chinese Medicine says that the heart governs the spirit. When the invisible door is closed, your spirit will be with you, and your heart will feel settled. When your heart is settled, you will naturally sleep well. You asked me what to eat to sleep better. Indeed, what we eat is very important to health, but you have to know that this is mainly for the tangible body. The most important element is the inner door. In addition to energy from food, we humans are actually always exchanging energy with many things around us, such as your environment, your interactions with people, the TV programs you watch or online information you surf, the books you read, your reactions to things, your emotions and thoughts, etc. If you don't learn to close the inner door, it's like permitting anyone or anything’s energy to enter your self – allowing any influence to cause havoc. How can you completely relax and sleep well with this happening?"

 She looked deeper in thought, so I continued, "If you have a chance, let Dr. Daniel give you a massage. He is a person who is particularly good at relaxing," I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because I remembered a recent event," I said, "Dr. Daniel works in two clinics. He works all year round and has never taken a day off. One day, when he was giving massages to people in another clinic, he actually dozed off. And it happened twice that day! As a result, there was a complaint made by these two people. The boss of the clinic asked him: 'Why did you fall asleep while working?' Guess what he answered?" I laughed again.

"What did he answer?"

"He looked at the boss innocently and said, 'I treated a total of ten patients today, but only two people complained about me. Isn't this actually good?' As a result, the boss could only be amused by him and said, 'Ah, I really admire your optimism.'”

"Dr. Daniel is really an optimistic person. If I had a complaint from a client, I would have been anxious for a long time..." Y came to smile too.

 "When you can't fall asleep again, Y, just imagine this scene," I said, "Just imagine that you are lying on the ground covered with snow, your loving mother is standing beside you, beaming. You, with a carefree heart, are lying there relaxed and happy, listening to your mother's voice, listening to the breathing of the earth, everything is so peaceful, beautiful and secure..."

 On Christmas Day, she sent me a text message: Dear Dr. Anna, I want to tell you that I have slept much better these few nights by following your method. Thank you for reminding me to close the door to my inner world. If the little girl has not come back completely, at least, I have seen her shadow..."

 Tell me, what better Christmas gift is there than this?