青柳诊所手记49

冬天来了，瑟瑟的寒风吹过来，光秃秃的树木似乎都在颤抖。阿里医生早早地就把所有的玫瑰都裹上了一层塑料衣裳，让娇弱的它们不被冻着。最近几乎每天都是雨，天又黑又冷，盛开的花朵和挤得密密麻麻的金色果子似乎都已成了遥远的过去。

 但无论外面有多么冷有多么黑，诊所里柔和的灯光却一直在亮着。我们跟往年一样，圣诞和新年依旧上班。

 去年圣诞前夜，一个少年提着一把小提琴进来，他拉的动人的曲子曾让我们欣喜落泪。今年没有小提琴手，但也有几个人的真情让我们难以忘怀。

 其中一个是C，他一年到头劳作着，这一天总算被他太太押来让我们好好治一下他酸痛无比的身体。治疗完了，C付完了钱，他还从皮包里左搜右翻，把里面的现金，十元的二十元的，一股脑儿都掏了出来，说：“这是给你们的一点圣诞礼物。”

我瞪圆了眼睛，赶紧说：“啊，不要，不要，谢谢你的好意。可是，我们向来就是不收礼物的。”

他不解地看着我：“为什么？”

他还想坚持，一旁的大师兄什么也没说，他把那些钞票一张一张叠起来，把每个皱褶的地方都细心地抚平开来，把它们弄得整整齐齐平平展展，然后小心翼翼地把它们放进C的钱包里，最后笑一笑，拍拍他的手臂，就把他送出门了。

 最近我们治疗的，除了肌肉筋骨之类的毛病，也有不少内科病人，尤其是呼吸系统病症的人。有几个人，在急诊室等了十多个小时，最后等得不耐烦，就跑到我们诊所来了。我们通过针灸，推拿和中药，也还真帮了不少人。大师兄开玩笑说，也许很快，我就可以像中国的那些传统老中医一样，只开方不需要再直接给人治疗了。

 确实，如果要我选择，我最喜欢的治疗方式还是中药和气功。所谓的气功，就是静坐和观想。

这是我几天前给Y做的气功治疗：

Y的主诉是失眠。她说她已经很久很久没有好好睡过了。而且好不容易睡着了，也总是醒来，醒来后就难得再入睡了。就算辗转反侧睡着了，睡眠质量也很不好，而且睡觉时她有咬牙的习惯，醒来时不但不觉得轻松或精力充沛，反而觉得很累，腮帮子也是硬邦邦的又紧又痛。

 “不说别的，”我一边在她的印堂扎上一针，一边告诉她，“单看你的舌头，我就觉得你压力太大了。”

“我以前不是这样的，”她苦笑一下，“是生活改变了我。”

我逐渐把她带入一个安静的境界，然后建议：“给我描述一下一个你曾经最快乐的画面吧？”

 她想了想，“小时候的一个画面常常呈现在我脑海里，那时我是一个快乐的爱咯咯笑的女孩。我还记得小的时候，我们刚刚从东欧移民过来。我牵着母亲的手，跟她走在落满雪的森林里。森林里有好多在松树上窜来窜去的小松鼠，我惊讶得张大了嘴巴。我一不小心，跌落进了深深的雪堆里，我非但不恼，还大声地笑着，我一笑，周围松枝上的雪被我震落了，像雨一样飘下来。我赖在那里，淘气地张开手脚躺在雪毯子上，等着母亲扶我起来。母亲说：‘我亲爱的白雪天使，你受伤了吗？’我笑着答，‘我没有受伤，我在聆听白色大地的呼吸呢’…… 现在回想起来，这一切似乎才是昨天的事，但是我的生命中已经发生了那么多的改变，母亲已经不在人世了，我流过产，离过婚，得过一次癌症，我再也不是那个快乐淘气的小女孩了……”。眼泪从她的脸上滑下来。

 “如果你学会关上门，你会找到她的。”我肯定地说。

“关门？”她睁开眼，惊讶地看着我。

“对，不是那有形的门，而是我们内心的那张无形的门。我们中医说，心主神明，当你面向外在世界的门关了，你的神明就跟你同在，你的心就安定下来了。你安定下来了，自然就睡好了。你总是问我要吃什么才会睡得更好，的确，我们吃的东西对健康很重要，但你要知道，那只是针对有形的身体而言。最重要的还是那张无形的门。除了跟食物，我们人其实一直都在跟周围的许许多多进行着能量交换，比如你跟你的环境，你跟人的交往，你看的电视节目或者网络信息，你读的书，你对事物所起的反应，你的情绪等等。 如果你不学会关上那张无形的门，那就等于你一直在允许各种各样的能量进入你的身体，一直让人在你的身体内走来走去制造噪音，这样的话，你怎么可能完全放松怎能睡得很好呢？”

我看她若有所思的样子，就接着说，“你有机会让我的大师兄给你推拿一下吧，他可是一个特别善于放松的人，”我轻轻笑起来。

“你为什么笑？”

“因为我想到了最近发生的一件事，”我说，“大师兄在两个诊所上班，他一年到头都上班，从来没有修过假。有一天，他在另一个诊所给人推拿时，推着推着居然打起盹来。而且那天一连发生了两次！结果他被这两个人投诉了。诊所的老板就质问他：‘你为什么工作时居然睡着了呢？’你猜他怎么答？”我依旧笑个不停。

“怎么答？”

“他很无辜地看着老板说，‘我今天一共治疗了十个病人，只不过两个人投诉了我，这不是已经很好了吗？’结果老板也被他逗笑了，说，‘啊，我真欣赏你的乐观主义精神啊。”

“你的大师兄真是个乐观的人。要是我，如果被人投诉，我早就焦虑不安了…..”Y也忍不住笑起来。

“以后你再不能入睡的时候，Y，你就想象这一幕吧，”我说，“你就想象你躺在裹着白雪的大地上，你慈爱的母亲微笑着站在你的身边，你轻松愉悦地躺在那里，聆听着母亲的声音，聆听着大地的呼吸声，一切都是那么安宁那么美好……”

 圣诞节那天，Y给我发来一个短信：亲爱的安娜医生，我要告诉你，我这几天晚上，都按照你的方法，睡得很香甜。谢谢你提醒我关门，如果那个小女孩还没有完全回来，至少，我已经看到她的影子了…..”

 你说，还有什么比这更美好的圣诞礼物呢？

Whispering of Willows 49

By Dr. Anna Zhao

Winter has arrived; when the cold wind blows, the bare trees appear to be trembling. Dr. Ali clothed all the roses with a layer of plastic, to protect them from freezing. It has been raining almost every day recently, with the sky gloomy and grey. The blooming flowers and the densely packed golden fruit are now but a distant memory.

 No matter how cold and gloomy the outside becomes, the soft lights in the clinic are shining warmly. We again worked on Christmas Day and will be open for New Year’s Day as in previous years.

 Last Christmas Eve, a teenage boy came in with his violin, and the moving music he played made us cry with joy. No violinist to add to our day this year, but a few people’s sincerity left unforgettable impressions on us.

 One of them is C. He works hard all year round, and today, due to his wife’s urging, he came in to let us tune up his extremely sore body. After his treatment, C paid the bill. He searched in his wallet, taking out all his other cash, all the ten and twenty dollar notes, and said, "This is a little gift for both of you."

My eyes widened and I quickly replied, "Ah, no, C, we appreciate your kindness but we do not accept gifts."

He looked at me, puzzled, "Why not?"

He insisted, and Dr. Daniel, who to this point had not said a word, gingerly folded all the bills one by one, making a neat stack, which he quietly put back into C's wallet. Then with a smile, he gave C a pat on the arm, and saw him out.

 Recently, in addition to physical injuries, we have dealt with quite a few patients with internal medicine issues, many with respiratory issues, such as chronic cough or sore throat. Several patients waited for hours in area hospital emergency rooms, finally getting impatient enough to depart for our clinic. We did what were trained to do; acupuncture, cupping, massage and herbal medicine. Dr. Daniel joked that maybe soon, I could solely prescribe herbal medicine like many traditional Chinese medicine practitioners in China.

 Indeed, if I had to choose, my favorite treatments would still be herbal medicine and Qigong. Qigong means medical meditation and visualization.

This is a Qigong treatment I gave Y a few days ago; she gave me permission to share it in this article:

 Y's main complaint is insomnia. She said she hadn't had a good sleep for a long, long time. And when she finally fell asleep, she always woke up in the middle of the night, and it was difficult to fall asleep again. Even if she fell asleep after tossing and turning, the quality of her sleep was very poor. She had the habit of clenching her teeth when she slept. When she woke up, she not only didn't feel relaxed or refreshed, but felt exhausted and achy, and that her cheeks were hard, tight and painful.

 "Ah," I inserted a needle into her forehead, "Y, just by looking at your tongue, I feel that you are under too much stress."

 "I wasn't like this before," she replied bitterly, "Life has hit me too hard." 

I brought her into a quiet state, and then suggested: "Describe to me a picture of your happiest time."

 She thought for a while, "A picture from my childhood often appears in my mind. At that time, I was a cheerful, giggly girl. I still remember when I was young, we had just immigrated from Eastern Europe. I held my mother's hand and walked with her in the snowy forest. There were many little squirrels running around on the pine trees in the forest, and I opened my mouth in surprise. Focusing on the scene, I accidentally fell into a deep snow pile, but I was not annoyed. I laughed loudly. My laughter shook loose the snow on the surrounding pine branches showering upon me like rain. I stayed there, sprawling on the snow blanket mischievously, waiting for my mother to help me up. My mother said, ‘Oh, Honey, my snow-white angel, are you hurt?’ I smiled and replied, ‘I'm not hurt, I'm just listening to the breathing of the white earth’... Looking back now, all this seems to have taken place just yesterday, yet, since then, so many changes have happened in my life. My mother is no longer alive, I had a miscarriage, got divorced, and had cancer once. I am no longer that happy and naughty little girl..." Tears slid down her face.

 "If you learn to close your door, you will find her." I said affirmatively.

"Close the door?" She opened her eyes and looked at me in surprise.

"Yes, it's not a tangible door, but the door separating your inner and outer worlds. Our Chinese Medicine says that the heart governs the spirit. When the invisible door is closed, your spirit will be with you, and your heart will feel settled. When your heart is settled, you will naturally sleep well. You asked me what to eat to sleep better. Indeed, what we eat is very important to health, but you have to know that this is mainly for the tangible body. The most important element is the inner door. In addition to energy from food, we humans are actually always exchanging energy with many things around us, such as your environment, your interactions with people, the TV programs you watch or online information you surf, the books you read, your reactions to things, your emotions and thoughts, etc. If you don't learn to close the inner door, it's like permitting anyone or anything’s energy to enter your self – allowing any influence to cause havoc. How can you completely relax and sleep well with this happening?"

 She looked deeper in thought, so I continued, "If you have a chance, let Dr. Daniel give you a massage. He is a person who is particularly good at relaxing," I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because I remembered a recent event," I said, "Dr. Daniel works in two clinics. He works all year round and has never taken a day off. One day, when he was giving massages to people in another clinic, he actually dozed off. And it happened twice that day! As a result, there was a complaint made by these two people. The boss of the clinic asked him: 'Why did you fall asleep while working?' Guess what he answered?" I laughed again.

"What did he answer?"

"He looked at the boss innocently and said, 'I treated a total of ten patients today, but only two people complained about me. Isn't this actually good?' As a result, the boss could only be amused by him and said, 'Ah, I really admire your optimism.'”

"Dr. Daniel is really an optimistic person. If I had a complaint from a client, I would have been anxious for a long time..." Y came to smile too.

 "When you can't fall asleep again, Y, just imagine this scene," I said, "Just imagine that you are lying on the ground covered with snow, your loving mother is standing beside you, beaming. You, with a carefree heart, are lying there relaxed and happy, listening to your mother's voice, listening to the breathing of the earth, everything is so peaceful, beautiful and secure..."

 On Christmas Day, she sent me a text message: Dear Dr. Anna, I want to tell you that I have slept much better these few nights by following your method. Thank you for reminding me to close the door to my inner world. If the little girl has not come back completely, at least, I have seen her shadow..."

 Tell me, what better Christmas gift is there than this?