2016-07-15

【Aiden in English】

        I don't believe in monsters that live in the bottom of lakes and have never been seen or detected by modern instruments. I also don't believe in monsters that eat humans. But apparently, most of the world thinks otherwise... 

        Don't tell the people at Loch Ness that the legendary monster Nessie isn't real. They can get pretty mad. It's the only reason they are on the map. It's also the only reason there was a tour going there today. The only thing that would resemble the Loch Ness monster in recent history is a sculpture near the hotel. And even it still looks like a dragon. The first sighting of this ... the monster was in the year of 565 by a woman heading inland. When she passed by the loch, a "long and black" monster slithered out of the water. Basically, that was the last sliver of evidence until the twentieth century. By then, the brilliant idea of newspapers has been invented, and the story can be passed on internationally overnight. Before long, the tale became a myth, which transformed into a legend. Nowadays, it's a bedtime story and a warning for little kids. "If you eat too many candies, Nessie will come and eat you!" Later on in life, the kids will realize how gullible they were, most likely bopping themselves on the head. 

        Loch Ness is not the name of the monster “Nessie”; it's just where the monster is located. 'Loch' in Gaelic means 'lake', and Ness is just a title. It is about 22 miles/35,000 m long and 1.5 miles/2,400 m wide.  The best estimate is around 755 ft. /230 m deep, but the silt at the bottom makes measurements difficult to read. If anyone was going to see the monster, it would be today. The tour stopped at the Urquhart Castle guarding the loch against enemies, now which are slimy ruins. Upon arriving, rain began to drip its way down from the sky. Dirt turned to mud; happiness turned to grumpiness. Mist crept down the side of mountains, clouding the vision of the tourists. Half expecting to see thunder and lightning and witness only the third written down “sighting”, I was very disappointed that within the hour. The rain had retired back to where it came from, and the loch was undisturbed. At times, I mistook a boat as the monster, but unfortunately, I was always wrong. The setting would've been perfect for an encounter, walking through a ruined castle, having mist settle over our heads. The stairs to the Grant Tower at the castle were really dangerous, being extremely narrow and slippery. It got absolutely bad when I realized it was a two-way path. I guess the castle was never designed for being a tourist attraction. Most of the roof was gone too, so there wasn't any sympathy from the buildings around me. And my luck sucked as well. 

        I understand that seeing the monster was a tiny chance. If no one has seen it for centuries, why should I? I think that's the wrong question... Is there really a Loch Ness monster?

【紅霞譯文】

        我才不信湖泊底下會有怪物出沒，否則現代化儀器豈能一直測不出什麼名堂。我也不信怪物吃人，但明擺着，多數人不以為然……

        千萬莫對尼斯湖人講傳說中的尼斯湖水怪並非真有其事，否則他們定要找你算賬，因為這恰好成為他們盤踞地圖的唯一理由，當然這也是今天我們到此一游的初衷。本地除了一家酒店附近矗立着一尊近代史上廣為流傳的尼斯湖水怪雕像，模樣看上去倒像條龍，其它什麼蛛絲馬跡也沒有。乍看這個……水怪源於565年一位前往內地的婦女所描述的場景，當她途經湖區時，偶遇一條“又長又黑”的怪物竄出水面。這條所謂的最新見聞基本一直流傳到廿世紀，之後隨着報紙業蓬勃發展，消息傳遍四面八方，沒過多久，當年的熱點話題隨即變成天方夜譚，就這樣活脫脫演繹出一個神話傳說，如今睡前故事少不了它，每當嚇唬淘氣包的時候也被用作警世通言：“如果你吃太多糖果，那麼尼斯湖水怪定來吃你！”受過懵嚇的孩童長大之後方才意識到當年如此輕信謠傳，禁不住要敲打幾下自己的腦袋瓜子。

        尼斯湖命名與水怪無關，但水怪出處卻取自尼斯湖。在蓋爾語中，“海灣”代表“湖”，尼斯僅僅是稱呼而已。尼斯湖長約22英里／35公里，寬約1.5英里／2400米，估計深度755英尺／230米，因為底部積有淤泥，所以很難把握測量的準確性。假如有人想見水怪，今天倒是個好日子，我們先來厄克特城堡參觀，該工事以前曾用來扼守尼斯湖抵禦敵人入侵，如今早已變成廢墟。大隊人馬剛抵達目的地的時候，天正噼里啪啦地下着細雨，致使土路變成泥潭，讓本來快樂的心情蒙上了一層陰影，霧霾漸漸垂落到山邊，雲煙恰巧擋住遊客的視野，電閃雷鳴好似拉開陣勢迎接水怪粉墨登場，弄得我在頭一個鐘頭情緒非常低落。雨終於收工回家，尼斯湖方才露出本來面目，有幾回我甚至錯把游弋於湖面上的小船當成水怪，可惜事與願違。對外來遊客而言，漫步在廢墟城堡之中，置身於雲霧繚繞之下，無不深為周圍的湖光山色所打動。通往格蘭特塔頂的樓梯又窄又滑，路況相當危險，況且又分上下雙行道，爬起來非常吃力，我覺得當初設計城堡時怎麼也想象不到這裡會變成旅遊景點。眼下絕大多數房屋上無片瓦，我沒啥心思去緬懷其滄桑歷史，再說今天的運氣本來就夠背的。

        親眼目睹尼斯湖水怪的幾率微乎其微，對之我早有心理準備，何況過去若干世紀都沒有任何佐證，我能有什麼辦法？在我看來，其實這本來就是謬論……難道真有尼斯湖水怪？