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遇到這樣的婆家人該怎麼辦?
送交者: cruiser 2003年07月16日18:02:48 於 [新 大 陸] 發送悄悄話


文章來源: 遇到這樣 於 2003-7-15 20:55:04:


我和老公是大學同學, 感情一直都很好, 老公屬於那種特老實,腦子特死特倔的人。 因為一直在學校里呆, 人比較簡單,也老認為別人都和他一樣。

結婚前我就知道他的家庭不是很好, 但那時總是天真的以為只要我們倆好, 和得來就行了。現在才知道,婚姻是一個太複雜的東西, 愛情一旦和婚姻聯起來, 就遠不是那麼簡單, 自己原本以為純潔的,偉大的愛情, 其實是經不起婆家人的折騰的。

在國內時, 只和他家裡人見過一面, 是結婚的時候。到美國來之後, 我打工,老公讀書, 總算是畢業找了分不錯的工作。我也可以上學了。 我是文科出身,只好改專業,學費由老公出。他家裡的人, 尤其是他媽,把我恨的不行。

99年老公畢業, 找着工作,我們一起回去了一趟,他父母非嚷着要來, 我們回來後, 先讓他們辦護照,等這的經濟情況好了,就讓他們去簽證。回來前,他媽非要說辦護照沒錢,我們留下幾百塊錢給他們辦護照。我們回來後,帳上只剩下150 刀。

老公工作沒幾個月, 我就考過了托,加上我們剛買了新車,經濟很緊張, 我們就希望他們能等我畢業了再來,也就晚一年半。這樣的話,他們玩兒得也會好一點, 因為我們經濟上比較寬鬆。

就因為我上學花了錢,耽誤了他們來,老公德父母,尤其是他媽,開始變着法的問我們要錢。一會是要買營養品, 一會是要出去旅遊,一會是要顧保姆, 總之,是要我們不停的寄錢回去

????口頭闡是---100美元對你們是小指頭一根。其實,在這裡工資聽這停高的, 但除下稅,房租,保險,。。。沒個月其實不怎麼剩錢的, 別說$100, 我們一般花$50都要考慮一下的。

2000年我意外的懷孕, 預產期是01年的6月,也是我畢業的時候,更是許諾的讓他父母過來的時候。老公怕他父母那時來玩不好,我們就決定讓他們提前來。他父母01年12月來了。

一來就無數要求,比如,出去玩不能主一個房間, 必需一人一個,等等。家裡的活一點不幫着干, 我那時,要full time 上課, 加上half intern 和half time on campus job (這個工作是他們來後才找的, 因為老公的工資實在是不能cover所有的費用), 累的要死, 回家還得作4個人的飯。 他爸是這輩子沒作過飯, 他媽是到美國後, 不知道該怎麼作飯。我挺這個日漸突起的肚子作飯, 他媽又說不好吃。他爸則是每天上網, 看DVD,把電視的聲音開很大很大, 樓下鄰居幾次complain us.

我一月份作ultra sound, it was a girl,他媽竟當我面說,她很失望。

我和老工的關係, 那時也到冰點, 我要不是懷孕, 都想離婚了。

因為心情不好, 累,我的體重開始明顯下降,最後二月份的時候, 沒理由的流產了。小孩子都已經成型了。我痛苦的要死。。。

他父母終於走了, 臨走還把給我們從中國帶的東西算成錢帶走。並要求以後每個月要寄錢, 且支票要寫他父母兩個人的名字, 否則,被寫名字的一方會不給另一個人錢。

我和老工的關係也漸漸好了。我也找着工作了。去年我們夏天買了房子。

我今年2月換工作, H1 transfer 出了點問題, 只好轉成H4,我們還準備趁現在不好找工作, 先生個孩子, 因為我也30 多了。但我們的經濟狀況一下子又不好起來。

我們雖然買了大房子, 但一樣家具都沒買, 幾個房間都是空的。LG的公司也裁了3輪了, 我們每天都小心翼翼, 不亂花1分錢。

上個月開始, LG媽要我們借錢給她的一個侄子

Sorry, can't type Chinese anymore...

Last month, his mother wanted us lend $4000-5000 to her nephew, whom we never met him and his mother only met him about 10 years ago (his mother left her hometown after marriage). We all don't know this guy very well. The reason that he wants to borrow money from us is that he wants to be married and buy a big house. My husband called him and told him that we don't have savings right now, we may be able to lend him around $2000 at the end of the year if his company can give him some bonus. Since then, he called us again and again, ask when we can wire transfer this $2000 to his account in Bank of China. My husband then send him an email writen in Chinese and declare again that we don't have money now, we can only lend him till the end of the year depending on our financial situation here.

When my husband called his home yesterday, his mother asked him when we can lend money to her nephew and we must lend some to him. She didn't believe we only have $2000 in our account now, even after she visited here, after my husband told her how much his net income each month and what we need to pay each month! She just say "it is not big deal for your to get $4000...!"

Plus, they don't want to cook any more, and want to hire a full time housekeeper, and we need to pay this for them.

My husband has 2 sisters and one brother, he is the youngest one. They all has good job in China. His father has retired but still get over 1000 Ren Min Bi each month. We send them $100 each month, it should be enough for their livings in a small town.

What I can't understand is my parents are always afraid of our life is not good here, they don't deposit the check I send them each time. But his parents are opposite. They want everything from us.

What should I do? My husband is a good man, but I can't stand his family. I don't want to divoce with him just because of this, but sometimes I really feel frastrated about his family and don't what should I do.

We have our life, why his parents just want to ruin this?

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