Letting Go “放手”

作者：不详
译者: Hesed

Letting go does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
“放手”并不代表停止关怀；
而是意味着我不能越俎代庖。

Letting go is not to cut myself off;
it's the realisation I can't control another.
“放手”并不是割席断交；
而是认识到我不能控制他人。

Letting go is not to enable;
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
“放手”并不是授权犯错；
而是允许别人从自然因果中学习。

Letting go is to admit powerless;
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
“放手”是自承无力；
也就是说结果不在我手。

Letting go is not to try to change or blame another;
it's to make the most of myself.
“放手”并不是尝试改变或责备他人；
而是充分发挥自己的价值。

Letting go is not to care for; but to care about.
“放手”并不是监护；而是关护。

Letting go is not to fix; but to be supportive.
“放手”并不是修理；而是支持。

Letting go is not to judge;
but to allow another to be a human being.
“放手”并不是论断；
而是提供他人做人的空间。

Letting go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome;
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
“放手”并不是从中运筹帷幄；
而是允许别人决定自己的命运。

Letting go is not to be protective;
it's to permit another to face reality.
“放手”并不是勤于保护；
而是允许他人面对现实。

Letting go is not to deny; but to accept.
“放手”并不是否认；而是接受。

Letting go is not to nag, scold or argue;
but instead to search out your own shortcomings and correct them.
“放手”并不是唠叨、谩骂或争辩；
而是找出自己的弱点并改正它们。

Letting go is not to adjust everything to my own desires;
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
“放手”并不是根据一己之欲调整所有的事情；
而是随遇而安，并在其中珍惜自己。

Letting go is not to criticize and regulate anybody;
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
“放手”并不是吹毛求疵和管制任何人；
而是尝试成为我梦寐以求的人。

Letting go is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
“放手”并不是悔恨过去；
而是为将来成长和生活。

Letting go is to fear less and live more.
“放手”是更少的畏惧、更多的抱拥生命。

When I feel responsible FOR others
当我越俎代庖时：

I ... 我勤于：
fix 修理
protect 保护
rescue 救援
control 控制
carry their feelings 承载他们的感情包袱
don't listen 没有聆听

I feel ... 我感觉：
tired 疲惫
anxious 忧虑
fearful 畏惧
liable 有义务

I am concerned with ... 我更关心
the solution 解决方案
answers 答案
circumstances 情况发展
being right 一贯正确
details 细节
per????ance 表现

I am a manipulator 我是操纵者

I expect the person to live up to my expectations. 我期盼当事人达到我的预期。

When I feel responsible TO others
当我对别人负责时：

I ... 我勤于
show empathy 表示感同身受
encourage 鼓励
share 分享
confront 面对澄清
level 冷静
am sensitive 敏感
listen 聆听

I feel ... 我感觉：
relaxed 轻松写意
free 自由
aware 警觉
high self-worth 高自我价值

I am concerned with ... 我更关心：
relating person to person 人与人之间的相处
feelings 情感
the person 当事人

I believe if I just share myself, the other person has enough to make it.
我相信只要分享自己的生命，别人有足够自理的能力。

I am a helper/guide. 我是个帮助者/引导者

I expect the person to be responsible for himself and his own actions. 我期望当事人能为自己和自己的行为负责。

I can trust, let go. 我可以信赖交托，于是我“放手”。