有一個弟兄強調：我得先聽妻子的話，讓她心裡有了平安，我才可以去參加教會服事。

Comment: Paradoxically the brother is walking on a haywire. Paul exhorts Christians to manage one's own household well before entrusted with leadership (bishop and deacon) responsibilities in God's church. But not all church service requires such a high prerequisite. Many require lay people's voluntary services, as common as cleaning up the floor, child care, A/V recording, bulletin typing, etc.

This brother should heed to the instruction of Jesus first, not kotowing to his wife's unprincipled demands. His leadership role is not to accommodate to her unbiblical demand, but to lovingly motivate, mobilize and re-align her and his life's priorities along the common calling from Christ: imitate Christ to be his disciples and witness Christ to make disciples. To serve in God's church is a must, not a negotiable option. Remember Jesus' stern admonition to those who wish to care first their family affairs before seeking the Kingdom of God? Jesus simply dismissed them as unworthy of His Kingdom.

他們夫妻都信主，弟兄較火熱，妻子較冷淡。

It is rare to have both equally zealous for the Lord.

結果就是：往往因為他沒有哄得妻子心裡有平安而影響了他的教會服事。妻子不讓他去教會，他就不能去教會，因為不聽他妻子的話，他妻子心裡就沒有平安。

This is a typical screw-up. Why not solicit her for service together? They are partners in church service as well as in life.