我说,“我不否认自己也是一个有魅力的女人. … 如果魅力是一种罪, 那就让我认罪, 但我不忏悔.”

这话让很多人不爽: “你凭什么觉得自己有魅力? 还不就因为有人来找你谈性! 说你浅薄是轻的, 说你贱一点也不过分!”

这样的反应完全可以理解, 如果我真的象这些人说的这么想.

对这个谈性的男人, 我的态度如下:

1. Did I feel offended? Yes, I did, to a certain extent. Consider that he didn't know me well, it is easier to forgive his boldness.

2. Do I think highly about that guy? No, I don't.

3. Do I consider that guy a fly?
Not necessary. But he definitely holds lower moral standard. He believes that it is fine to separate sex and love, and it is fine to cheat his wife. I think it is the issue of moral standard.

I believe that sex and love can't be separated. It is acceptable to leave your spouse when love is gone, but it is not acceptable to cheat before you leave.

Everybody has his own moral standard to judge other people and judge himself. The key thing is, you don't force other people to follow your moral standard and don't say crude words to people with different (or lower by your own judgement) moral standard.

In other words, as long as it is legal, I respect other people's choices, although I might not agree with them.

4. Did I get mad at him? No, I didn't.

5. Did I take it as a compliment? Neutral.

6. Why did you thank him then?
I thank him for being straightforward, not for his proposal.

那到底凭什么我自信有魅力?

我说过, 自己从来不是万人迷的大众情人. 人堆中, 我绝不是抢眼的女人.

当我十八妙龄的时候, 我根本不认为自己有魅力, 虽然去舞会从不曾担心做壁花.

然而随着青春的日渐流逝, 我对自己魅力的信心指数却日渐增长.

为什么?

因为我曾不止一次地被人深爱过, 而且幸运地从未被人背叛过.

一个女人, 如果她从不曾被人深爱过, 她依然可以自信是个优秀的女人, 但她不会自信是个有魅力的女人.

魅力是对人的吸引力.

外表无疑是魅力的一部分, 但不是最可靠, 最持久的部分. 我对自己外表的吸引力自信心比较有限. 我不丑, 但不过中人之姿, 当然偶尔也有比较美丽的时刻.

我的魅力来自我的灵魂.爱过我的人无一例外深爱我的灵魂. 我的灵魂是不老的, 甚至是越来越年轻的. 所以我相信, 三十年后, 当我六十多岁的时候, 我还会是一个有魅力的女人.

另外，我文章里还说, "对女人而言, 直接谈性的男人不是真正危险的男人." 这并不是说道德观念低下的男人没有问题, 女人可以放心接触他们. 但是, 因为直接谈性的男人把自己的意图和道德观念直接摆在你的面前. 只要他没有暴力倾向, 女人很容易拒绝和回避, 所以不会构成真正的危险. 相反, 谈心的男人开始可能并没有居心不良, 让人觉得很安全, 他却有可能让女人在不知不觉中深陷, 终至不能自拔. 所以更要小心.