The Weekend Funniest Sept 1, 2006

1. A banker is a fellow who lend you umbrella when the sun is shining; but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. Conversation during a job interview:
Employer: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.”
Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

3. John has sleep disorder so he went to see a doctor.
John: “I have trouble falling asleep. Can you help me?”
Doctor: “It’s easy. Count 1, 2, 3…to 1000 when you go to bed and I guarantee you a good sleep.”
Next day John came back to the doctor and looked very tired.
John: “Doctor, it did not work.”
Doctor: “How come?”
John: “I did exactly as what you said. When I counted to 200 I felt very sleepy. In order to reach 1000, I had to drink coffee. When I finished 1000, I did not feel sleepy at all.”

4. There was a lazy man who wants to do the easiest job. One day he saw an ad looking for a graveyard keeper. He thought this is an easy job so he sent his application and got the job. After two days he resigned and told his friends: All the people there lie down and rest, I am the only one have to stand.

5 "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"