如果愛倫.坡觀看冬奧會……

Susan著 小哭譯

“如果愛倫.坡觀看了今年的冬奧會，他可能會認為每一件事兒都太危險了，每一個人都會死。所有的參賽者都會受傷並死掉；或者他們都會傷得很重、回家後最終還是死了；或者輸的隊伍會變得消沉並抑鬱而死。不管怎麼說吧，每個人都會死”。

哈哈…….那就是今天我的一個同學在課堂討論“美國最有影響力的作家們”所說的話。在今年的英語語言藝術課（ELA）上，我們一直在讀美國最著名和最有影響力的一些作家的作品，這些作家包括亨利.戴維.梭羅、拉爾夫.沃爾多.愛默生、霍桑（我不知道他的名，譯者註：納撒尼爾）、埃德加.愛倫.坡，以及最近才讀的赫爾曼.梅爾維爾。在這些作家中，霍桑的故事是我個人最喜歡的，但是我發現坡的生活最有趣兒。

我們不只是閱讀這些作者的書，還要研究和分析他們的生活和個性。我們討論梭羅是如何地有點瘋狂、愛默生怎麼是唯一神論的牧師、坡的很多浪漫史和個人生活中的不幸，以及梅爾維爾作為一名水手的日子。結果，我們現在對作家們的生活、性格、信仰和寫作都有了很多的了解。

對這些作家們做一個簡短的概括：梭羅是一個先驗論者，他相信人生的意義要在自然和簡約中才能找到。他花了兩年的時間獨自住在森林中並將這段經歷寫成了一本又長又乏味的書（我們必須得讀）。愛默生非常地相信自立以及獨立，還有就是要擁有自己的見解而不是隨大流。他寫了一本叫做《自立》的書，我們也必須得讀。霍桑經歷了善與惡的較量，結局是善通常會戰勝惡、要不然就是罪最終毀掉了一個人的生活。坡是個極其嚴重的悲觀主義者，可能是因為他一生中所在乎的多數女人（也有一個男人）都病死於肺結核。他非常地貧窮，嚴重地奢賭又酗酒，他的作品在他死後（死於飢餓或債主的謀殺）才出名。我對梅爾維爾了解不多，只知道他寫了《白鯨》，還有就是他是一個水手。

在課堂討論中，威爾基女士問我們上面提到的這些作家中的每一個人，對今年的冬奧會會有怎麼樣的反應。我們的回答相當地有趣兒。我們誇張地放大這些作家間的不同個性，以此為樂。拿他們這麼取樂沒什麼不好，原因之一是我們並無惡意；原因之二是他們已經去世了。梭羅可能會說些關於許多運動項目都是如何地涉及大自然之類的話，就象：“啊！滑雪！滑雪意味着雪！還有冰！雪是如此地美好……大自然是多麼地神奇！啊……想想那些花、樹、雲朵和星星……”(這個真的不是太誇張)。他也可能會很高興於奧運會裡有那麼多的非裔美國人，因為他在世的時候，他反對在那時還合法的蓄奴制。

霍桑可能會喜歡冬奧會所表現出來的所有競爭力，因為他寫了很多關於善會戰勝惡的文章。就如同他作品中的善總是會贏，他會認為那些善良並努力訓練的好人，會贏得奧運會。愛默生可能會欣賞每一個人是如此地自立並且都那麼地自信。輪到坡了。我們拿坡取樂最多，因為他是如此地悲觀，而我們覺得那樣說很詼諧。他肯定會認為每個人都會死。即使他們不是死於受傷，也會抑鬱而死。或者也有可能他會認為某個運動員是個秘密殺手，而他會想辦法去將其找出來（坡必竟是偵探小說的始祖）。

我們今天課堂上的討論非常地棒。我喜歡在ELA課上進行討論，因為我們班是最棒的，威爾基女士也是我遇到的最好的一位英語老師。她總能找到辦法讓班級充滿了樂趣兒而同時又具有挑戰性。這只是典型的ELA課堂是什麼樣子的一個例子。如果你認為有趣兒的話…...那麼，等着我寫點關於威爾基女士曾如何不動聲色地讓一個學生，向全班公布了她曾經在五年級時與另一個現在也在我們班的學生約會的。那事兒發生在我將其命名為“什麼是尷尬”的課堂討論中。

【小哭介紹背景】這篇小文我覺得跟Susan之前寫的那篇有關“遊說講演”的類似，講的都是威爾基女士的課堂。我對她的這類文章非常地有興趣兒，因為在別的渠道很難有機會了解到這些課堂上的細節。

那天她放學回家大談特談當天的ELA課堂上的搞笑冬奧會討論時，我說你能不能把這麼精彩的內容寫篇作文給我讀讀啊？她竟然面露不悅之色，說是這些有什麼好寫的呢。我知道她之前的周末出去冬令營回家後就一直心情不好，那一周一直處於作業落下一堆也不想寫的狀態中，可每晚又不得不趕作業，心情很煩燥。於是，趕緊“順毛摸”，先是對她時間緊張表示理解，其次聲明寫不寫都可以，最後說能寫的話，寫幾百字就行了，不用進行深刻的思考也不用發表感慨，只要能達到給我們這種沒上過她的ELA課的人了解到課是如何上的就非常好了。

真別說，有的時候態度很重要。那天晚上臨睡前，Susan把U盤放在我的電腦邊上，告訴我作文寫好了。我打開一看，覺得她寫得出來的還是比講出來的更有邏輯性。雖然主要內容我都聽她講過了，可是那麼多作家我還是記不住。現在她寫出來了，我就可以在網上搜索相關的背景資料，跟着她學習提高了。我不但把這幾個大文豪的生平給搜出來學習了好幾番，還把這些文豪為什麼基本上都住在麻州、上過哈佛、甚至還集中在麻州的一個小鎮康科德城這事兒也思考了一下。我想那個時候的美國遠不如現在先進發達，人口也不多，所以哈佛大學可能也就是個社區學院的地位吧？而康科德城大概是麻州當時相對發達繁華的小鎮吧？這些都是我憑空想像的，不一定正確。有了解背景的，請留言指教。

現在我已經很盼望Susan哪天有時間，寫寫“什麼是尷尬”的課堂討論了。他們的威爾基老師，實在是太強了。課上得真是精彩！Susan在她的班裡，那是眼見着在進步啊。一年以前，不，半年以前，我根本都無法想像Susan的筆下會出現梭羅、愛默生、霍桑，甚至愛倫.坡和梅爾維爾的名字。對照一下她去年暑假的那些作文，她所得到的提升真的不是一點半點。遇到這樣的好老師，是Susan一輩子的福氣。感謝上帝！

附上英文原文：

If E. A. Poe Saw the Winter Olympics…

“If Edgar Allen Poe saw the Winter Olympics this year, he would probably think that everything is too dangerous and everyone is going to die. All the competitors are going to get hurt and die. Or that they'll get a big injury, go home, and eventually die. Or that the loosing teams will get depressed and die from depression. Some way or another, everyone’s gonna die.”

Haha…that was what one of my classmates said today during our class discussion about America’s most influencial authors. For English Language Arts this year, we have been reading the works of some of America’s most famous and influencial authors: Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Hawthorne (I dunno his first name), Edgar Allen Poe, and most recently, Herman Melville. Out of all the authors, Hawthorne’s stories are my personal favorite. But I find Poe’s life the most interesting.

We haven’t just been reading these author’s works. We’ve been studying and analysing their lives and personalities. We talked about how Thoreau was a little coo-coo, about how Emerson was a Unitarian minister, about Poe’s many romances and personal tragedies, and about Melville’s days as a sailor. As a result, we now know a lot about the authors, about their lives, characters, beliefs, and writings.

Breif summary of the authors: Thoreau was a Trancendentalist, and he believed in finding the meaning of life in nature and in simplicity. He spent two years living alone in the woods and wrote a long boring book about it (we had to read it). Emerson believed a lot in self-reliance and independence and having your own ideas instead of going with the flow. He wrote a book called Self-Reliance that we had to read. Hawthorne explored the rivalry between good and evil, with good usually triumphing over evil, or with sin ultimately ruining a person’s life. Poe was very pessimistic, maybe because most of the women (and a man) he cared for in his life died from a disease called tuburcolosis. He was very poor and gambled and drank a lot, and his writings only got famous after he died (either from starvation or from being murdered by people he owed money to). I don’t know much about Melville other than he wrote Moby Dick and that he was a sailor.

During class discussion, Ms. Wilkie asked us about how each of those authors mentioned above would react to the Winter Olympics this year. Our responses were quiet amusing. We exaggerated the different authors’ personalities and made fun of them that way. It was okay to make fun of them because 1) we weren’t being mean and 2) they’re already dead. Thoreau probably would’ve said something about how involved in nature a lot of the sports were, like “Oh! Skiing! Skiing means snow! And ice! Snow is so beautiful…how wonderful nature is! Ahhh…think of the flowers and trees and clouds and stars….” (this is actually not that much of an exaggeration). He also would’ve liked how there were African Americans in the Olympics, because while he was alive, he was against slavery, which was still allowed back then.

Hawthorne would’ve liked the competitiveness of it all, because he wrote a lot about good competing against evil. And just like how good always won in his writings, he woud think the good people, the ones who are nice and trained hard, would win in the Olympics. Emerson would enjoy how everyone is self-reliant and all trusted in themselves. Then we got to Poe. We had the most fun with Poe, because he is just so pessimistic that it’s humorous. He would definitely think everyone would die. Even if they don’t die from an injury, they’ll get depressed and die. Or maybe he would think that one of the athletes is plotting murder, and he would try to solve it (Poe was the the father of detective stories, after all).

We had a great class discussion today. I like it when we discuss things during ELA, because our class is the best, and Ms. Wilkie is the best ELA teacher ever. She can always find ways to make class fun while still being challenging. This is just one example of what a typical class of ELA is like. If you think this was interesting….well, just wait until I write something about how Ms. Wilkie indirectly made a student announce to the whole class that she used to date another student who’s in our class when they were both in fifth grade. Now THAT’S what I call awkward.