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按:此文是网上所见相关文章中最体现中英造诣的一篇。再次证明我的论点:比较语言,需要对相关语言有相当高的造诣。
摘录如下,着色的是我的评注。
哲学家罗素生平最为痛恨繁琐浅陋、空洞无物的文风。他曾举过一个例子:
Human beings are completely exempt from undesirable behavior pattern only when certain prerequisites, not satisfied except in a small percentage of actual cases, have, through some fortuitous concourse of favorable circumstances, whether congenital or environmental, chanced to combine in producing an individual in whom many factors deviate from the norm in a socially advantageous manner.(55字)
评:这就是我批评的在一大杯水中滴入一滴牛奶,甚至这滴牛奶都是假的, 三鹿式的。在汉字写作历史上,这种丑陋的文风从来没有占过主导,可惜,在当今的英文领域,是司空见惯, 程度不同而已,以掩饰空虚和贫乏。事实是,真理是可以简单表达的。
认为这句话翻来覆去说了半天,拆穿了,原意只不过是:
All men are scoundrels, or at any rate almost all. The men who are not must have had unusual luck, both in their birth and in their upbringing. (28字)
评:用我的话来说,就是:
Humans are ill-natured unless made otherwise by rare circumstances . (9字)
我的说法不见得最好,但人人看得懂, 小学生都懂。9个字能讲清楚的,西皮,为何用55个字??? 言痴,逻辑,你们说!
于是,我们最后也就不妨再来回顾一下孔先生所举的那些例子,看看究竟是汉语词汇贫乏,不足应对,还是英语某些词汇本身便属多余,毫无实际意义。
先看原文:“One should prioritize one’s needs”。且不管这是孔先生的“自创”还是“引经”,我们都无需被它吓住,完全可以将其视为一个“高拔的固格”。同样的意思,难道英语就没有通俗浅显的说法,非得要请出“prioritize”这样的大字眼吗?例如:“One should put his needs in order.”、“One should first do what is most needed”、“Work should be done in order of importance and urgency”,甚而至于:“First thing, first done”。难道讲这样的句子,就有失身份,就会被人瞧不起吗?
评:我会说:first thing first.
再看孔先生的译文:“一个人应该把他之所需,排列先后的次序”、“一个人之所需应分缓急轻重”、“一个人应该把他的所需优先化”。
评: 显然,文革出生长大的傻瓜,中文都不过关。
这些句子的确是够“累累赘赘”的了,或曰“洋腔鬼话”,足以让地地道道的中国人笑得直不起腰来。尤其是那个莫名其妙的“一个人”,一听就知道是拙劣照搬英语的“one”或“a man”所致。同样的意思,用汉语表达的话,文一点的,不妨说“今日事今日毕”或者“凡事应分轻重缓急”,俗一点的,则有“急事先办”、“该做的事,马上就做”等等——处处不见“一个人”。
评:“今日事今日毕”, “凡事分轻重缓急”, “急事先办”,这难道不比原英文句子好1万倍?世界上难道还有更好的语言?更准确,更简洁?我相信不会有!
再看这句:“The prioritization of one’s needs is fundamental to any decision making.”可惜孔先生没有赏光译出,让我们再次深刻理解汉语究竟有多“累赘”,只好越俎代疱,滥竽充数:“一个人之所需之优先性为任何决定之做出之根本”。
评:这是tilted 英语,也即拙劣的句子。 我会说:
Find your needs before your deeds
a. 他手里拿着证书回家了。
b. 他手里拿着证书和同学们说说笑笑地回家了。
c. 他手里拿着证书和同学们说说笑笑兴高采烈地回家了。
d. 他手里拿着证书和同学们说说笑笑兴高采烈地回家来向父母报告。
e. 他手里拿着证书和同学们说说笑笑兴高采烈地回家来向父母报告他要参加工作了。
评:汉语灵活。
与之相对应的英语是:
a. He came back home, holding the certificate in his hand.
b. He came back home, with the certificate in his hand, laughing and talking with his classmates.
c. Laughing and talking with his classmates, he came back home gaily with the certificate in his hand.
d. Laughing and talking with his classmates, he came back home gaily with the certificate in his hand to tell his parents about it.
e. Laughing and talking with his classmates, he came back home gaily with the certificate in his hand to tell his parents that he would get a job.
总结:英文中有精化,也有无数的垃圾。该文列举的大部分都是典型的垃圾,是代表了英文中丑陋的部分, 如果让这部分垃圾滋蔓,这个语言早晚要退化,萎缩,死亡。归根到底,语言是工具,用来表达思想,应该最简捷的,最明白的,最精确的,最有力的表达思想。该文反应作者很高的中英造诣,涉及很多修辞问题,对那些基本语法都搞不清楚,连初中英语都过不了关的对象而言,这个题目是太深了点。中文汉字具有数千的历史, 其力量,其品质,其表达力,其美感,不是其他语言(比如英语)能相提并论的。 中文中也有很多垃圾, 象那个叫孔宪中的人写的那些垃圾,是使用这个语言的人造成,和该语言本身无关。
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