上帝與聖誕老人

送交者: 歡樂頌 2011年10月14日09:02:06 於 [茗香茶語] 發送悄悄話

Once upon a time, I had a little conversation with my daughter regarding Santa Claus. "Dad, someone told me there is no such a man as Santa Claus." "Why, who told you that?" "Jason, my classmate, he said all gifts in the stockings are actually from parents." "Well..." "Is he right?" "Well..." hesitated a little bit,  I decided to tell the truth: "Yes, he's right, there is no Santa". "So those gifts last Christmas were really from you, not Santa?" "Yes, they were there by me." "Come on, Daddy, you cheated!" "But Daddy just wants you to be happy" "Still you cannot say Santa does not exist" "Why not?" "May be he just went somewhere else, visit some other families, or even went to another country, he might be too busy to fill for everyone, you know. More and more kids around the world learn about his merits and start to demand his attention." "No, Santa doesn't exist, that's true" "But you cannot prove it, can you? I mean you never knew where he lives, so you just cannot go out there and check. You never know" ...... All the sudden, from my daughter's saying I realize that Santa Claus bears a lot of resemblance to God, or God bears a lot of resemblance to Santa - both bringing hope to his subjective, perhaps the only differences being the first is an annual event whereas the second is lifetime. The big ones need Santa too! That's right, I can't prove the non-existence of Santa, may be Santa and God do both exist. To be honest I really don't care about Santa since I have no interest in his gifts. But what about God? Shall I start to believe in him? I was told there's a great deal of consequence after death if one doesn't accept God, i.e., being thrown into fire lakes and suffer forever and ever. That's sounds too horrible. However, this is where my confusion starts: If I do accept God, I will have to accept the idea of immortal soul, because that’s all this is about. Then inevitably, there will be a whole bunch of questions that follow that: Why is there such a thing as soul in the beginning? What is the identity of a soul, is the identity of my soul the earthly me, the very consciousness that is doing the thinking now? What is the total number of souls at the end of the world? If the number is finite (supposedly), why that number? What does heaven look like? Are we to be the angel-like thing in heaven and flow around all day long, forever and ever, till when? What if we become bored and want to do something else? If that happens, what other fun thing can God find for us to do? I may have worried too much because there will never be a moment a soul becomes bored, because in heaven are we suppose not to have such a feeling as bored at all? Very possibly, because I am pretty sure there won't be any sorrow, therefore no happiness either. Are we all to become Adam-Eve like objects that know nothing (good or evil) but pure existence, that's probably is the case anyhow. But above all, this whole theme sounds rather bizarre to me, why did God create such a humongous universe and put us on this tiny little global located in the middle of nowhere, with these thousands of millions teeny-weeny residence like ants whose existence have no meaning but worshiping their creator, the LORD, who cares and desires this action from these ants and feels increasingly satisfactory as long as more and more ants start doing it. Why bother at all? Like these above, there are a whole lot more questions than answers once I get into this. Right, it might be the case that all the answers are already provided in God's divine plan, which is no business of mine. But the nature of man is such that he can never quit being curious. On the other hand, if I don't accept God, I may be assigned to hell, and to be tortured forever after, I certainly am afraid of that and have to make a decision based on this information. That is, even though Heaven is not that attractive to me, I am being forced to choose it because I would end up in a much worse situation otherwise. That's absurd; I started to get angry: how the hell did I get into this sXXt that if I am not careful I will receive eternal torment, totally ridiculous. What's the advantage of being born then? Just to be given such a stupid choice, I'd rather not come to this world and not make a choice. There's no justification for me to be born. I don't want it, I reject it, my right of non-existence has been brutally violated. Wait a second, there will be no rights for a non-existence, ha-ha, full of contradiction. As a matter of fact, I am actually one of the lucky guys compared to those people all over the world already died without being given the opportunity in the first place, and to those people who happened to be born in the wrong countries and hence believed in the wrong God, so unfair to those poor people! Well, if taken that into consideration, it may not be too bad to be in Hell at all, I can at least see my parents, especially my father who died when I was young, I missed him a lot. You know what? I may even bump into Steven Jobs. Yes, the chance should be much greater over there than here on earth. Since by then Steven's got no use for the billion bucks he once earned for himself, I can then at least talk to him on an equal footage. "How are doing, Mrs. Jobs?", "I am so thrilled to meet you here, you know, I was one of you public admirers when we were up there..." "So how have you been? Any new gadgets you invented recently, that may help reducing the heat here?" ...... "Daddy", suddenly I was waked up by my daughter, pulling me back from the world of wild imagination, Shaking my arm and asked once again "What do you think?"   "Well, you are right, I cannot prove it, Santa may indeed exist" I answered. My daughter stared at me for a moment, with her big googly eyes wide open, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth, one second or two, she smiled, so sweetly. I smiled back, fondling her hair gently, speaking in my mind: "So long as you are happy with it"

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