送孩子一部iphone定下的18條規矩 |
送交者: 藝萌 2014年01月15日07:39:17 於 [教育學術] 發送悄悄話 |
送孩子一部iphone定下的18條規矩你有個13歲的寶貝兒子,作為新年禮物,你想送他一部iphone手機,毫無疑問他一定會很開心,:但是:萬一孩子沉迷其中不能自拔怎麼辦?或者他們利用手機瀏覽不健康信息又該如何是好?美國的一位聰明媽媽就成功地想出了解決辦法,她就是Janelle Burley Hofman。Hofman給自己的兒子買了部蘋果手機,伴隨這部手機的還有一份文件,用來保證自己13歲的孩子Gregory在使用智能手機的同時學會節制和承擔責任。有意思的是這份文件並不是幾個簡單的原則,而是一個寫滿了18條規定的“合約”。 以下是“合約”全文: 親愛的Gregory: 節日快樂!相信你現在肯定會為擁有一部自己的iPhone手機而倍感興奮。你現在已經是一個13歲的男孩了,而且是一個負責任的男孩,所以媽媽認為你完全 有能力用好這部手機。但是想要接受這個禮物你必須接受合同裡面規定的約束。我希望你能夠理解,只有這樣,媽媽才能把你撫養成為一個全面發展而且能和先進科 技“和平共處”的男子漢。希望你能自覺遵守而不是被動地受約束。如果你不能做到以下18條規定的話,我只能將這部iPhone手機收回。 1.首先要聲明的一點是,這部iPhone手機是我的,是我買的這部蘋果智能手機。現在我將這部手機借給你使用。媽媽是不是很偉大? 2.我在任何時候都有權知道這部iPhone手機的密碼。 3.如果手機響了就接聽,這畢竟是一部手機。接聽電話時要注意禮貌。如果來電顯示是媽媽或者爸爸,你更要接電話。不可以忽略媽媽和爸爸打來的電話,絕對不允許有這種情況發生。 4.在有課的時候,每晚7點半要及時將手機交給媽媽或者爸爸,在周末的時候可以在晚上9點交。晚上我們會將手機關機,在第二天早上7點半開機。在給你的同學打電話時一定要尊重別人家的生活方式。如果你希望身邊的同學或者朋友尊重我們的家庭,那你首先要從自身做起。 5.不准帶手機去學校。如果你需要和別人通過手機聯繫,能打電話就別發短信,這是生活的基本技巧。 6.如果手機掉馬桶里、掉地上或者丟了,你必須對因此產生的維修或者購買新手機的費用負責。你可以割草坪、照顧小孩來掙錢,也可以將父母給你過生日的錢攢起來。上面我說到的情況發生的概率很大,所以你要提前做好準備。 7.不允許使用科技伎倆來撒謊或者欺騙別人。不准用手機說一些傷害別人的話。 8.如果有些話你不想當面或者在電話上和別人說清楚,不准用手機發送短信、電子郵件等方式表達。 9.如果有些事你不能在家裡和父母說的話,更不許通過手機發短信、郵件等方式向別人表達。首先要從自身找原因。 10.不准用手機瀏覽色情信息。只能搜索那些你可以在父母面前拿得出手的問題和信息。如果你有什麼問題的話,最好當面向人請教,尤其是媽媽或者爸爸。 11.在公共場合要麼關機,要麼調成靜音放起來。特別是在餐館、影院或者和別人說話的時候。孩子,你是一個非常懂禮貌的人,不要因為這部iPhone而改變自己。 12.不能發送或者接收帶有你(或者他人)身體隱私部位的圖片,更不能以此為樂。雖然你很聰明,但是有時候會有人誘惑你這麼做,我相信聰明的兒子知道如何 拒絕這種人。一旦你這麼做了,你很有可能會毀掉你的大好年華,甚至你未來的大學生活。網絡實際上要比你想象的複雜,有些事情一旦發生了就很難去挽救,尤其 是那種能敗壞人名聲的事情。 13.不能用iPhone手機錄製特別多的圖片或者視頻資料,其實你根本沒有必要把生活中的每一件事情都記錄下來。好好過自己的生活,這些都會存在你的記憶當中。 14.外出的時候把手機留在家裡是一種安全而又明智的決定。這畢竟是一部手機,不是你生活的全部,學着過一種不帶手機的生活。這樣你就會比那些社交控、微博控更強大,因為你能夠坦然地過一種沒有手機和網絡的生活。 15.儘量下載一些新鮮的或者經典的音樂,不要和你的同齡人一樣都聽相同的歌曲。你們這一代人對音樂的接觸要比人類歷史上任何一代都方便,所以媽媽希望你能夠利用這個機會來拓寬自己的視野。 16.時不時地玩一些單詞遊戲或者腦筋急轉彎等益智遊戲,這對提高你的智力有幫助。 17.要對現實生活充滿興趣,注意身邊發生的事情,傾聽小鳥的叫聲,時常出去散步或者和陌生人談話,要對現實世界充滿好奇。 18.如果你因為這部iPhone手機而將自己的學習或者生活搞得一團糟的話,我會將這部手機收回。我們會就這個問題坐下來好好談談,然後我們再重新開始。請你記住,我親愛的孩子,媽媽和你都在學習,我是你團隊的一員,我們永遠會在一起的。 我希望以上的這些條款你能夠同意。實際上這份合同裡面所列的注意事項不僅僅適用於這部iPhone手機,也適用於我們的日常生活。現在你生活在一個快速發 展而且充滿變革的世界。媽媽相信你有着強大的意志力,相信你不會沉迷於這部iPhone手機。愛你,我親愛的兒子。節日快樂!希望你能喜歡這款很棒的 iPhone手機。 孩子們抓狂了:悲了個催,不要也罷 這份“老媽合同”很符合美國人的契約習慣,美國刊登這個消息的網站專欄作家也對此抱以認同的觀點,但在中國的微博上卻引起了非常大的爭議,網友基本上抱以非常兩極的態度—— 不理解甚至堅決反對的大多是我們的年輕人,咱們中國的孩子幾乎沒有跟父母“簽合同”的經驗,所以覺得這份合同既不合情又不合理——“這部手機不要也罷。等 這孩子二十了讓他自己去買IphoneN吧。”“煩死了,那麼多規定。”“什麼叫借給他?為什麼不能帶到學校?為什麼晚上要把手機交給父母?”“怎麼瞅都 覺得特別像高中時候我爸曾經要求我絕對服從的語氣和管理模式呢。比如那個第十三條,不能用手機拍照攝像...這是什麼霸王條款?” “不就一手機搞這麼隆重。這兒子也太悲催了。”“不允許發短信,不能打電話,不能帶着外出。那這還是手機麼?”“我覺得這樣的麻麻很過分。孩子作為弱勢的 一方連一點反抗的權利都沒有。這種麻麻的專制肯定不僅體現在手機一事上,事事如此孩子會變成一個孤僻軟弱的人。”“看完這個條約。我決定自己掙錢買。” “我媽要是這麼做,我就不要了。”“天哪!這樣的手機乾脆不要!孩子,去拔草去洗碗自己賺錢買一台吧!”“那請問這部手機還能用來幹什麼”... 父母們學到了:留着作家庭合約範本 相對於年輕人的不理解,一些做了父母的網友則對此相當感慨:“這位家長[微博]教育孩子的思維和方法值得我們反思對照學習!”“好聰明的媽媽,關愛孩子是 所有母親都具有的共性。”“小孩天性使然,決定了必須有所約束,很多人你誤解了約束和專制的概念。”“別讓智能產品、網絡控制了我們和孩子,關心現實生 活,更多地親近大自然。”“孩子也應該懂得對自己管轄下的資產負責。” “教給小孩的是學會不依賴網絡和手機去面對面和其他人交流的機會,難道只有坐在冰冷的PC後面通過網絡和別人請教聊得痛快才是會交流麼?”“另一種教育的 方式。”“真是個負責任的好麻麻,學習學習。”“值得借鑑。看了看評論有點失望,要知道十分要求可能只六七分效果,但願以後我孩子能做好自己,孩子朋友也 有這樣的父母親。”“智慧的媽媽。”“可作為家庭協議合約範本。”“值得這個年齡段孩子的父母們讀一讀”...類似的評論不勝枚舉。 母愛還是霸權,你看到的是哪面 為何同樣一份合同引起中國網友截然不同的理解呢?有人看到處處是母愛,有人看看條條是霸權,有網友理解認為:“充溢着母愛的十八章,評論者褒貶不一也是可以理解的。約法是必須的,十八章卻太繁瑣”。 其實就像有的網友說的,更多是因為大家理解角度不同。比如引起爭議最多的14條——“外出的時候把手機留在家裡。這畢竟是一部手機,不是你生活的全部,學 着過一種不帶手機的生活。這樣你就會比那些社交控、微博控更強大,因為你能夠坦然地過一種沒有手機和網絡的生活。”年輕人認為“都不給帶出門的手機還是手 機嗎”,而年輕稍長的網友則認為是一條偉大的建議,“現在越來越多年輕人有溝通障礙都源自各自埋頭玩手機”。 還有“如果你需要和別人通過手機聯繫,能打電話就別發短信”、“如果有些話你不想當面、或者在電話上和別人說清楚,不准通過手機來發短信、電子郵件等方式 表達”,有網友質疑“電話就比短信和郵件禮貌?”但也有網友贊成:“打電話除了更為直接禮貌,也鍛煉孩子的溝通能力”。 還有“不能用iPhone手機錄製特別多的圖片或者視頻資料”,有網友詫異“手機不讓拍照錄視頻,這是哪門子規矩”,但成熟點的網友理解這位母親的觀點,“你沒有必要把生活中的每一件事情都記錄下來。好好過自己的生活這些都會存在你的記憶中”。 排除中美文化詫異和這份條約的執行情況,美國網站那位專欄作家的爸爸的一句話其實可以概括這份合約的基本意義,“我認為在孩子的成長過程中,父母和孩子簽 訂合約並不是一件壞事。雖然這個合同執行起來對孩子而言並不容易,但是他在使用iPhone的時候肯定會思考,學着去承擔責任。這也是‘合同’最大的價值 所在”。(揚子晚報記者 張艷)
Mom's 18-Point iPhone Rules for Son
Thirteen-year-old Greg Hoffman had been begging his parents for an iPhone all year. So on Christmas morning he was thrilled to find the object of his desire under the tree, but there was a catch. The phone came with an 18-point set of terms and conditions that he had to agree to before the phone could be his. And the agreement did not come from Apple or the phone provider, it was from his mother. "Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift," the agreement begins. "But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations." The first rule on his mother's list: "It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?" "I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it," Janell Hoffman wrote. "Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership." "I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come," she added. "Oh my God. My first reaction was, why? Why did she really have to do this?" Hoffman told "Good Morning America" today. "What I wanted to do and show him [is] how you could be a responsible user of technology without abusing it, without becoming addicted," Janell Hoffman said. Hoffman herself is a blogger and mother of five in Cape Cod, Mass. She wanted her son to avoid many of the pitfalls that both smart phone using teens and adults fall prey to. "Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being," read rule number seven. "Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire." Other rules forbid porn and the sending or receiving of "pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts." The rules also outline the hours and places the phone may be used. "It it rings, answer it," said rule number three. "It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads 'Mom' or 'Dad.' Not ever." Hoffman said that the lessons she outlined were for her son's iPhone usage, for his life and for anyone too attached to their mobile device. "Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you," she encouraged. "Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without Googling." Teen behavior expert Josh Shipp says a set of rules are a must for teen iPhone use. "You wouldn't' give your kid a car without making sure they had insurance," said Shipp, who is the host of Lifetime's "Teen Trouble." "And so giving them a cell phone or a computer without teaching them how to use it responsibly is irresponsible on the part of the parent." Here's Janell Hoffman's full list of rules for her son, originally posted on her blog: Dear Gregory Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership. I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest? 2. I will always know the password. 3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever. 4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected. 5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration. 6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared. 7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire. 8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person. 9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself. 10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father. 11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that. 12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation. 13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity. 14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out. 15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons. 16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then. 17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling. 18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together. It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas! xoxoxo Mom
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