送孩子一部iphone定下的18条规矩 |
送交者: 艺萌 2014年01月15日07:39:17 于 [教育学术] 发送悄悄话 |
送孩子一部iphone定下的18条规矩你有个13岁的宝贝儿子,作为新年礼物,你想送他一部iphone手机,毫无疑问他一定会很开心,:但是:万一孩子沉迷其中不能自拔怎么办?或者他们利用手机浏览不健康信息又该如何是好?美国的一位聪明妈妈就成功地想出了解决办法,她就是Janelle Burley Hofman。Hofman给自己的儿子买了部苹果手机,伴随这部手机的还有一份文件,用来保证自己13岁的孩子Gregory在使用智能手机的同时学会节制和承担责任。有意思的是这份文件并不是几个简单的原则,而是一个写满了18条规定的“合约”。 以下是“合约”全文: 亲爱的Gregory: 节日快乐!相信你现在肯定会为拥有一部自己的iPhone手机而倍感兴奋。你现在已经是一个13岁的男孩了,而且是一个负责任的男孩,所以妈妈认为你完全 有能力用好这部手机。但是想要接受这个礼物你必须接受合同里面规定的约束。我希望你能够理解,只有这样,妈妈才能把你抚养成为一个全面发展而且能和先进科 技“和平共处”的男子汉。希望你能自觉遵守而不是被动地受约束。如果你不能做到以下18条规定的话,我只能将这部iPhone手机收回。 1.首先要声明的一点是,这部iPhone手机是我的,是我买的这部苹果智能手机。现在我将这部手机借给你使用。妈妈是不是很伟大? 2.我在任何时候都有权知道这部iPhone手机的密码。 3.如果手机响了就接听,这毕竟是一部手机。接听电话时要注意礼貌。如果来电显示是妈妈或者爸爸,你更要接电话。不可以忽略妈妈和爸爸打来的电话,绝对不允许有这种情况发生。 4.在有课的时候,每晚7点半要及时将手机交给妈妈或者爸爸,在周末的时候可以在晚上9点交。晚上我们会将手机关机,在第二天早上7点半开机。在给你的同学打电话时一定要尊重别人家的生活方式。如果你希望身边的同学或者朋友尊重我们的家庭,那你首先要从自身做起。 5.不准带手机去学校。如果你需要和别人通过手机联系,能打电话就别发短信,这是生活的基本技巧。 6.如果手机掉马桶里、掉地上或者丢了,你必须对因此产生的维修或者购买新手机的费用负责。你可以割草坪、照顾小孩来挣钱,也可以将父母给你过生日的钱攒起来。上面我说到的情况发生的概率很大,所以你要提前做好准备。 7.不允许使用科技伎俩来撒谎或者欺骗别人。不准用手机说一些伤害别人的话。 8.如果有些话你不想当面或者在电话上和别人说清楚,不准用手机发送短信、电子邮件等方式表达。 9.如果有些事你不能在家里和父母说的话,更不许通过手机发短信、邮件等方式向别人表达。首先要从自身找原因。 10.不准用手机浏览色情信息。只能搜索那些你可以在父母面前拿得出手的问题和信息。如果你有什么问题的话,最好当面向人请教,尤其是妈妈或者爸爸。 11.在公共场合要么关机,要么调成静音放起来。特别是在餐馆、影院或者和别人说话的时候。孩子,你是一个非常懂礼貌的人,不要因为这部iPhone而改变自己。 12.不能发送或者接收带有你(或者他人)身体隐私部位的图片,更不能以此为乐。虽然你很聪明,但是有时候会有人诱惑你这么做,我相信聪明的儿子知道如何 拒绝这种人。一旦你这么做了,你很有可能会毁掉你的大好年华,甚至你未来的大学生活。网络实际上要比你想象的复杂,有些事情一旦发生了就很难去挽救,尤其 是那种能败坏人名声的事情。 13.不能用iPhone手机录制特别多的图片或者视频资料,其实你根本没有必要把生活中的每一件事情都记录下来。好好过自己的生活,这些都会存在你的记忆当中。 14.外出的时候把手机留在家里是一种安全而又明智的决定。这毕竟是一部手机,不是你生活的全部,学着过一种不带手机的生活。这样你就会比那些社交控、微博控更强大,因为你能够坦然地过一种没有手机和网络的生活。 15.尽量下载一些新鲜的或者经典的音乐,不要和你的同龄人一样都听相同的歌曲。你们这一代人对音乐的接触要比人类历史上任何一代都方便,所以妈妈希望你能够利用这个机会来拓宽自己的视野。 16.时不时地玩一些单词游戏或者脑筋急转弯等益智游戏,这对提高你的智力有帮助。 17.要对现实生活充满兴趣,注意身边发生的事情,倾听小鸟的叫声,时常出去散步或者和陌生人谈话,要对现实世界充满好奇。 18.如果你因为这部iPhone手机而将自己的学习或者生活搞得一团糟的话,我会将这部手机收回。我们会就这个问题坐下来好好谈谈,然后我们再重新开始。请你记住,我亲爱的孩子,妈妈和你都在学习,我是你团队的一员,我们永远会在一起的。 我希望以上的这些条款你能够同意。实际上这份合同里面所列的注意事项不仅仅适用于这部iPhone手机,也适用于我们的日常生活。现在你生活在一个快速发 展而且充满变革的世界。妈妈相信你有着强大的意志力,相信你不会沉迷于这部iPhone手机。爱你,我亲爱的儿子。节日快乐!希望你能喜欢这款很棒的 iPhone手机。 孩子们抓狂了:悲了个催,不要也罢 这份“老妈合同”很符合美国人的契约习惯,美国刊登这个消息的网站专栏作家也对此抱以认同的观点,但在中国的微博上却引起了非常大的争议,网友基本上抱以非常两极的态度—— 不理解甚至坚决反对的大多是我们的年轻人,咱们中国的孩子几乎没有跟父母“签合同”的经验,所以觉得这份合同既不合情又不合理——“这部手机不要也罢。等 这孩子二十了让他自己去买IphoneN吧。”“烦死了,那么多规定。”“什么叫借给他?为什么不能带到学校?为什么晚上要把手机交给父母?”“怎么瞅都 觉得特别像高中时候我爸曾经要求我绝对服从的语气和管理模式呢。比如那个第十三条,不能用手机拍照摄像...这是什么霸王条款?” “不就一手机搞这么隆重。这儿子也太悲催了。”“不允许发短信,不能打电话,不能带着外出。那这还是手机么?”“我觉得这样的麻麻很过分。孩子作为弱势的 一方连一点反抗的权利都没有。这种麻麻的专制肯定不仅体现在手机一事上,事事如此孩子会变成一个孤僻软弱的人。”“看完这个条约。我决定自己挣钱买。” “我妈要是这么做,我就不要了。”“天哪!这样的手机干脆不要!孩子,去拔草去洗碗自己赚钱买一台吧!”“那请问这部手机还能用来干什么”... 父母们学到了:留着作家庭合约范本 相对于年轻人的不理解,一些做了父母的网友则对此相当感慨:“这位家长[微博]教育孩子的思维和方法值得我们反思对照学习!”“好聪明的妈妈,关爱孩子是 所有母亲都具有的共性。”“小孩天性使然,决定了必须有所约束,很多人你误解了约束和专制的概念。”“别让智能产品、网络控制了我们和孩子,关心现实生 活,更多地亲近大自然。”“孩子也应该懂得对自己管辖下的资产负责。” “教给小孩的是学会不依赖网络和手机去面对面和其他人交流的机会,难道只有坐在冰冷的PC后面通过网络和别人请教聊得痛快才是会交流么?”“另一种教育的 方式。”“真是个负责任的好麻麻,学习学习。”“值得借鉴。看了看评论有点失望,要知道十分要求可能只六七分效果,但愿以后我孩子能做好自己,孩子朋友也 有这样的父母亲。”“智慧的妈妈。”“可作为家庭协议合约范本。”“值得这个年龄段孩子的父母们读一读”...类似的评论不胜枚举。 母爱还是霸权,你看到的是哪面 为何同样一份合同引起中国网友截然不同的理解呢?有人看到处处是母爱,有人看看条条是霸权,有网友理解认为:“充溢着母爱的十八章,评论者褒贬不一也是可以理解的。约法是必须的,十八章却太繁琐”。 其实就像有的网友说的,更多是因为大家理解角度不同。比如引起争议最多的14条——“外出的时候把手机留在家里。这毕竟是一部手机,不是你生活的全部,学 着过一种不带手机的生活。这样你就会比那些社交控、微博控更强大,因为你能够坦然地过一种没有手机和网络的生活。”年轻人认为“都不给带出门的手机还是手 机吗”,而年轻稍长的网友则认为是一条伟大的建议,“现在越来越多年轻人有沟通障碍都源自各自埋头玩手机”。 还有“如果你需要和别人通过手机联系,能打电话就别发短信”、“如果有些话你不想当面、或者在电话上和别人说清楚,不准通过手机来发短信、电子邮件等方式 表达”,有网友质疑“电话就比短信和邮件礼貌?”但也有网友赞成:“打电话除了更为直接礼貌,也锻炼孩子的沟通能力”。 还有“不能用iPhone手机录制特别多的图片或者视频资料”,有网友诧异“手机不让拍照录视频,这是哪门子规矩”,但成熟点的网友理解这位母亲的观点,“你没有必要把生活中的每一件事情都记录下来。好好过自己的生活这些都会存在你的记忆中”。 排除中美文化诧异和这份条约的执行情况,美国网站那位专栏作家的爸爸的一句话其实可以概括这份合约的基本意义,“我认为在孩子的成长过程中,父母和孩子签 订合约并不是一件坏事。虽然这个合同执行起来对孩子而言并不容易,但是他在使用iPhone的时候肯定会思考,学着去承担责任。这也是‘合同’最大的价值 所在”。(扬子晚报记者 张艳)
Mom's 18-Point iPhone Rules for Son
Thirteen-year-old Greg Hoffman had been begging his parents for an iPhone all year. So on Christmas morning he was thrilled to find the object of his desire under the tree, but there was a catch. The phone came with an 18-point set of terms and conditions that he had to agree to before the phone could be his. And the agreement did not come from Apple or the phone provider, it was from his mother. "Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift," the agreement begins. "But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations." The first rule on his mother's list: "It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?" "I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it," Janell Hoffman wrote. "Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership." "I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come," she added. "Oh my God. My first reaction was, why? Why did she really have to do this?" Hoffman told "Good Morning America" today. "What I wanted to do and show him [is] how you could be a responsible user of technology without abusing it, without becoming addicted," Janell Hoffman said. Hoffman herself is a blogger and mother of five in Cape Cod, Mass. She wanted her son to avoid many of the pitfalls that both smart phone using teens and adults fall prey to. "Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being," read rule number seven. "Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire." Other rules forbid porn and the sending or receiving of "pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts." The rules also outline the hours and places the phone may be used. "It it rings, answer it," said rule number three. "It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads 'Mom' or 'Dad.' Not ever." Hoffman said that the lessons she outlined were for her son's iPhone usage, for his life and for anyone too attached to their mobile device. "Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you," she encouraged. "Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without Googling." Teen behavior expert Josh Shipp says a set of rules are a must for teen iPhone use. "You wouldn't' give your kid a car without making sure they had insurance," said Shipp, who is the host of Lifetime's "Teen Trouble." "And so giving them a cell phone or a computer without teaching them how to use it responsibly is irresponsible on the part of the parent." Here's Janell Hoffman's full list of rules for her son, originally posted on her blog: Dear Gregory Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership. I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest? 2. I will always know the password. 3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever. 4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected. 5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration. 6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared. 7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire. 8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person. 9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself. 10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father. 11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that. 12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation. 13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity. 14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out. 15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons. 16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then. 17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling. 18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together. It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas! xoxoxo Mom
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