第一句Let me look one more time into your eyes of clarity 需要减两个字, clarity 和 purity 其中一个能否改成元音结尾的字?

比如这样就基本能唱, 减去了几个字. 可否请贤兄照这个长短该一下. :-) 还有, 歌词和诗不同, 歌词里如果syllablesd多了, 如unfulfulled wishes, 音色就难唱出来, 元音比辅音好唱好听.

Look one more time into your eyes of clarity , resides are so many dreams of purity.
I'd like to use the warmth of my bosom, to drive away the coldness, to illuminate the darkness.

Look one more time into your eyes with fog, hide behind’re so many unfulfilled wishes.
I'd like so much to carry on your nostalgia, to send it to the constellations, to deliver it to the mountains and rivers.

Look one more time into your eyes of benevolence, where remain not the slightest regrets.
I'd like so much to hold in hands your courage, to engrave it in the vast land, to spread it across the cloudy sky.

We’re linked by the veins of our blood, bound with the utter devotion of our hearts.
Shed forever are our tears; observed forever is our faith.
What we cannot suffer for you, is the pain you have endured.
God Bless our ancestors' home to survive all of the calamities.

最后一句”祖先的家园” 可否用:
God Bless our homeland

写完这个, 贤兄可以做词了, 愚妹请人做曲. :-)